On Hearing God's Voice

There have been several times throughout my adult life where God has clearly spoken and I knew it was him, but it made no sense (at least in the moment) what he was doing. And yet, those truths he spoke and brought to pass have been some of the sweetest realities of my life (i.e. Matt and I's entire relationship). 

So here we are once again, this dance of the Lord speaking and asking me to trust and have confidence that I can and do hear him. My kitty, Blaze has been gone for 4 days. We have no idea where he is and we've done everything we can think of to locate him, and I mean everything. I prayed and asked a few friends to pray a few days back. Matt, my friend Jen and myself all got this peace - this sense, that Blaze will be back. He wasn't a late night snack for a coyote or starving in someone's basement... he is safe and he will come home again. Encouraging, right?

Except... fear, doubt, insecurity all breathe down our necks in these moments. I'd rather just stay silent than share with everyone that I am believing and I know Blaze will come home. Fear of man is a big motivator here - I don't want to be thought of as a 'health & wealth' Gospel advocate - I'm not. I also don't want to doubt God's voice. It's a tricky space. To add another layer, what if it doesn't happen?! 

The confusion, disappointment and disillusionment of trying to wade through that is enough to make my head spin. Would that mean I actually don't hear God's voice? Was it just wishful thinking all along that I contributed to God? Is God breaking his promise to me? It's not an easy thing to navigate (I also don't think that threatens God in the least). So, I shove it back, try not to give it much brain space and I move forward. 

It causes me to go back, waaayyy back -to the dawn of time. Wasn't the first trick the devil used to get Eve to doubt what God had said about eating the fruit of the tree? (Genesis 3:1-5)

 "Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that God had made. 

He said to the woman 'Did God really say you shall not eat of any tree in the garden?' 

And the woman said to the serpent 'We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said 'You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.' 

But the serpent said to the woman 'You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it, your eyes will be opened, knowing good and evil..." 

And we know how the story goes - she eats (meanwhile her husband is standing there listening to this interaction, and says/does nothing), Adam eats and they are ashamed and embarrassed and they hide from God. It's an age old story - and one that we can probably all recount in our own lives (the embarrassment, shame and hiding). 

And yet, God does not leave them in their shame. He comes to them, looking for them, longing to continued relationship. What a good Father we serve!

The serpent's first trick was to make Eve doubt what God had said  - and, did you notice that she added an extra clause about what God said? She said 'we shall not eat it, or touch it. God actually didn't say that. Check out Genesis 2:15-17 - God's only command was that they not eat of the fruit of that particular tree. I think once the serpent started confusing Eve, she got mixed up herself, truly thinking they weren't to touch the tree. That's how it goes, isn't it? We can't remember up from down and we get all mixed up once we start doubting God, questioning what he said and trying to analyze every facet of it...

I find a great deal of comfort in the words from John 10:27- Jesus speaking, short and direct here- 

My sheep listen to my voice, I know them and they follow me. 

He goes on in the following verses to talk about how his sheep will not follow another master, because they don't know that master's voice. Of course, us being the 'sheep' and him being the 'master.' Its a pretty clear passage. It doesn't say his sheep might listen to his voice. They do listen to it. 

Practice - it takes practice, just like any skill we acquire, but hearing God's voice is a given for his children. It's not saved for a select 'few.' It's for all his sheep. It looks different for each person (I love that about God - he's creative and unique in his approach to his kids, just like any good parent would be.) But they undoubtedly hear his voice.

God has been challenging me on two specific things this week, in searching for Blaze.

1. Do I believe that I truly can be confident in my ability to hear him speak?  

2. Do I believe that what he says is true? 

The first challenge involves my knowing that I am capable and confident. Doubt doesn't get to drive the ship when we're God's children. It gets a seat (because any true faith has at some point involved doubts) - but it doesn't get to be the driving force in how we live our lives.

The second challenge is more about how I see God. Is he a God that just withholds, says "no" and takes away? Or... is he a loving father who delights in giving good gifts to his children? Is he big enough to speak to me and open my heart to hear and process what he's saying? Is he faithful to what he's promised? 

I think of the many, many promises of God in scripture. 

Abram and Sarah would have a son (at 90+ years old!) They waited 20 years after that promise was made before it happened.  

Israel, after they were freed from the oppressive hand of Pharaoh in Egypt, would enter the promised land. But they'd first wander in the desert for 40 years.

Mary, a virgin, would have a son who would be the Savior of the world.

Ya know, just small stuff. And yet, God came through. Every time, he came through.

God is not one to withhold just to see us squirm. He is not one to enjoy seeing us suffer. He is a father - and not just that, but a good father. He speaks, and his sheep hear his voice. 

So, I don't know where Blaze is. I don't know if he's safe or not. It's painful and hard to be in the middle - having no answers and ALL the questions. I do believe God told me Blaze would come home. Time will tell how it turns out, but regardless of outcome there will be a learning to trust, learning to listen, learning to engage and ask questions when I don't understand. 

Maybe this was a lesson for my spiritual enrichment all along. God is creative and never wastes an opportunity. I am thanking him for that today, and learning to tune my ear to hear his voice, as he graciously guides.