Do you like the name of my post? I thought it was appropriate :)
I'm at this really funky place in life right now. It is bittersweet; easy and hard. I am at a crossroads of sorts. It really makes no sense to me, all of the thoughts flowing through my brain at any given time... but they're thoughts that need to be thought about.
I have some big decisions to make. Some things that I am uncertain about. And every now and again I get a bit stressed when I am thinking about it all, but mostly, I have peace. I really do. It is complete madness to me to have peace in the midst of all of this, but I do. God has just come in and really given me this underlying peace, despite these decisions that need to be made. I know He's guiding me and showing me what He has for me. No doubt about it.
Revelations always happen in the shower or in the car. Am I right?! Yeah, I'm right. Today was no different. I was driving up to a friends' house this morning, thinking about the possibilities for the future, and I was whining to God a bit, and He kind of just spoke to me and said: "Hannah, you think that I am not answering you quickly, but if that is true, its because I want you to seek me out. Its so easy to go about life all giddy and happy when things make sense, and not rely on me fully. But when things are uncertain and tough, then you really have to rely fully on me. I am drawing you to myself through this. Trust me. You are growing, and learning about me because you have to wait."
Wow. Is that ever true! It reminds me of a podcast I was listening to last night. It is by Andy Stanley, who pastors Northpoint Community Church in Louisiana, or Georgia, or somewhere in that vicinity (I am a geography genius, clearly). He was talking about how when others are going through a hard time, we pray for them, when we're going through hard times, we doubt. Then he said this: "Why is it when its our lives, our faith suffers?" Wow. That is a bold statement to make. But so often we go around with the mentality that because God is silent, He must be absent. It is baffling, really. The reality of who God is does not change based off of our circumstances.
So, needless to say, I am learning a lot right now. And I am loving it. God is really showing me so many truths about Himself. He is so faithful.
Here is a link the podcast. Give it a listen:
http://www.northpoint.org/messages/when-god
Friday, February 24, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Current affairs.
I have had so much on my mind over the past couple of weeks, I'm sure you could fill a library with them. But so much of the time I haven't known how to put them into words. Writing is easier than speaking right now, because the thoughts flow better; but its still a stretch.
Adjusting to life at home has been interesting to say the least. Its insanity to come from this life of having a schedule and being busy always to having little to no schedule and loads of free time. I need this down time, but it is such a drastic change from what I've grown accustomed to, I think the first couple of days I was still in shock. So often its like I'm walking around in a fog, not sure if this is 'real life' or not.
I wouldn't trade the experience I've had for anything in the world. It changed me in ways I didn't even realize until I got home. I shared things that I wasn't able to share before. I made better friends in five months than I ever would have expected. I learned about our Father and His immense love for us. I heard Him speak, to ME! I cried. A lot. But they were healing tears. They were tears that I needed to cry.
I can look back, five months later and see the work that God did in my life, and the lives of those I have come to call 'family.' He is a good God, and He did some awesome work. He never gave up on us, He continued molding us, and shaping us. Even when I didn't like it, and when I was uncomfortable and asked God to take me out of the hard situations, He continued to work.
Something I know is true, and that I can say with every fiber of my being now: God is faithful. He is patient and His love exceeds bounds. He is a GOOD God.
Even now as I am processing, and trying to figure out what comes next, He is guiding me. He is giving me peace and contentment and showing me how deeply He desires fellowship with His children. It never ceases to amaze me.
I love my God.
And I leave you with another small glimpse into my life over the past five months:
Adjusting to life at home has been interesting to say the least. Its insanity to come from this life of having a schedule and being busy always to having little to no schedule and loads of free time. I need this down time, but it is such a drastic change from what I've grown accustomed to, I think the first couple of days I was still in shock. So often its like I'm walking around in a fog, not sure if this is 'real life' or not.
I wouldn't trade the experience I've had for anything in the world. It changed me in ways I didn't even realize until I got home. I shared things that I wasn't able to share before. I made better friends in five months than I ever would have expected. I learned about our Father and His immense love for us. I heard Him speak, to ME! I cried. A lot. But they were healing tears. They were tears that I needed to cry.
I can look back, five months later and see the work that God did in my life, and the lives of those I have come to call 'family.' He is a good God, and He did some awesome work. He never gave up on us, He continued molding us, and shaping us. Even when I didn't like it, and when I was uncomfortable and asked God to take me out of the hard situations, He continued to work.
Something I know is true, and that I can say with every fiber of my being now: God is faithful. He is patient and His love exceeds bounds. He is a GOOD God.
Even now as I am processing, and trying to figure out what comes next, He is guiding me. He is giving me peace and contentment and showing me how deeply He desires fellowship with His children. It never ceases to amaze me.
I love my God.
And I leave you with another small glimpse into my life over the past five months:
Halloween Festival. I was a 90's kid. Bam.
This base is beautiful always. I love it.
Me and my Malaysian friend.
YWAM. Also known as: Home
Commissioning night: showing the changes that God brought about in our lives.
First team breakfast in Malaysia.
In Malaysia with Salem Korean DTS!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
All in this together
I don't really even have words. This journey of DTS as we knew it has ended. We laughed together. Cried together. Loved together. Talked together. Worked out problems together. Walked down to the lake together. Braved the elements together. Went overseas together. Experienced God's love together. Experienced healing together. Got in trouble for being too loud together. It was all together.
I've come to realize something profound in these last couple of months: There is something beautiful about togetherness. Something beautiful about unity, oneness; being a family. I can't explain it. But it is how life is supposed to be. We were never meant to live lives of solitude. We were meant to be together. Together, we can do so much more than we can alone. Together we create a strong force. Together we experience life. And that is what we were created for.
A couple of nights ago, though tears, I told my school that for the first time in my life, I really understood what the body of Christ looked like. So often the body of Christ does not look how it should. Over the past five months I have realized that the body of Christ is a place of acceptance and love. Its a place of honesty and vulnerability. Its a place of forgiveness and truth spoken in love. It is made up of imperfect people, who mess up regularly, who need forgiveness, who cannot do it on their own. It is a place of peace. Of rest. Of adventure and challenge. It is diverse. It includes individuals with many unique, but equally important gifts. It is made of people who love God. It is a place of beauty.
We are saying good bye to our time together, here at this base. But we are not saying good bye for good. The body is united through states and countries; over seas and mountains. Through storms and sunshine. We are one in the body. Nothing can change that. We are a family. Brothers and sisters. And even though we are apart, we are still together. This is what I love about the body.
I love you, family.
Monday, November 28, 2011
The Edge
I feel like I'm standing on the precipice, about to take a leap. A HUGE leap. A leap of faith. And, I am.
I don't know what this journey holds. I leave in 9 days for Malaysia. There are many things running through my mind. Things I need to complete. People I need to contact. My friends here whom I need to invest in. Prayers to be said.
It is overwhelming in many aspects, and yet, there is this peace that doesn't leave. I can't explain it. I have struggled for much of my life with worry and anxiety, and yet, as I'm about to do one of the biggest things I've ever done, I am not anxious. It might sound weird, but the truth often sounds weird. I began this journey, 10 weeks ago, being a bit nervous. I honestly was not excited about going overseas. I was scared. But that has changed so drastically in 10 weeks. I am freaking excited now! I am excited to minister, and to see God's hand at work as we call a new place 'home' for two months.That doesn't mean that I don't realize that there will be tough things to wade through, I am well aware of that, but I am still so excited to see God work. I cannot wait. It is amazing the changes that can take place in such a short amount of time.
Coming to DTS was one of the best things I've ever done. In fact, after becoming a Christian, I think it is the best thing I've ever done. I didn't come expecting it to be like this. But its so much better than I ever anticipated. All I can say, is, I am blown away by God's faithfulness. He is faithful. Always faithful. FAITHFUL. I can't say it enough. He has provided financially. And these are HUGE sums of money that he has brought in, literally overnight. He has given our school unity, and He's changed hearts and lives even since being here. Oh, I am so thankful that I serve a faithful God.
I am a different person now than I was 10 weeks ago. Sometimes I don't believe that. But when I start doubting the work that God has done in my life, that is when He comes in and reminds me of who I am, of how He has changed me, and of His great love for me. I feel like He wraps me in a warm blanket and just holds me when I'm feeling discouraged and down. It doesn't take long for God to shut out the lies that creep in at times, and to replace them with His truth.
I can't explain what He's doing. But he is working. This is such a special place, and me and 53 other students from all across the world, in all walks of life have had the privilege of experiencing this together, and its a bond that we'll always share in our hearts. We went through it together, and there isn't a group of people I would rather experience this crazy journey with, than this group. There is not a single doubt in my mind that God brought every individual here, at this time. I just love how He works. God is smart, and I love that. He knows what He's doing.
As we're preparing to say 'good bye' to this gorgeous place, and many of the friends that we've met here, there is a sadness that comes along with that. I don't want to leave my friends. But, I know that what we're doing in Asia is of eternal value. And that makes it all worth it. This isn't the end. This is only the beginning. Yes, we've been here for 10+ weeks already, but that doesn't mean that just because we're saying 'good bye' to each other for a season, that we have to say 'good bye' forever.
God is still working. One of my favorite verses, Philippians 1:6 says: "Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion, until the day of Christ." Yep, my God is still at work. That brings me so much joy and peace.
So, I will leave you with a song that we sung this morning, and that I've had stuck in my head most of the day. I feel like it very accurately portrays life for us right now. It is called "Our God is Greater" and it is by Chris Tomlin.
I don't know what this journey holds. I leave in 9 days for Malaysia. There are many things running through my mind. Things I need to complete. People I need to contact. My friends here whom I need to invest in. Prayers to be said.
It is overwhelming in many aspects, and yet, there is this peace that doesn't leave. I can't explain it. I have struggled for much of my life with worry and anxiety, and yet, as I'm about to do one of the biggest things I've ever done, I am not anxious. It might sound weird, but the truth often sounds weird. I began this journey, 10 weeks ago, being a bit nervous. I honestly was not excited about going overseas. I was scared. But that has changed so drastically in 10 weeks. I am freaking excited now! I am excited to minister, and to see God's hand at work as we call a new place 'home' for two months.That doesn't mean that I don't realize that there will be tough things to wade through, I am well aware of that, but I am still so excited to see God work. I cannot wait. It is amazing the changes that can take place in such a short amount of time.
Coming to DTS was one of the best things I've ever done. In fact, after becoming a Christian, I think it is the best thing I've ever done. I didn't come expecting it to be like this. But its so much better than I ever anticipated. All I can say, is, I am blown away by God's faithfulness. He is faithful. Always faithful. FAITHFUL. I can't say it enough. He has provided financially. And these are HUGE sums of money that he has brought in, literally overnight. He has given our school unity, and He's changed hearts and lives even since being here. Oh, I am so thankful that I serve a faithful God.
I am a different person now than I was 10 weeks ago. Sometimes I don't believe that. But when I start doubting the work that God has done in my life, that is when He comes in and reminds me of who I am, of how He has changed me, and of His great love for me. I feel like He wraps me in a warm blanket and just holds me when I'm feeling discouraged and down. It doesn't take long for God to shut out the lies that creep in at times, and to replace them with His truth.
I can't explain what He's doing. But he is working. This is such a special place, and me and 53 other students from all across the world, in all walks of life have had the privilege of experiencing this together, and its a bond that we'll always share in our hearts. We went through it together, and there isn't a group of people I would rather experience this crazy journey with, than this group. There is not a single doubt in my mind that God brought every individual here, at this time. I just love how He works. God is smart, and I love that. He knows what He's doing.
As we're preparing to say 'good bye' to this gorgeous place, and many of the friends that we've met here, there is a sadness that comes along with that. I don't want to leave my friends. But, I know that what we're doing in Asia is of eternal value. And that makes it all worth it. This isn't the end. This is only the beginning. Yes, we've been here for 10+ weeks already, but that doesn't mean that just because we're saying 'good bye' to each other for a season, that we have to say 'good bye' forever.
God is still working. One of my favorite verses, Philippians 1:6 says: "Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion, until the day of Christ." Yep, my God is still at work. That brings me so much joy and peace.
So, I will leave you with a song that we sung this morning, and that I've had stuck in my head most of the day. I feel like it very accurately portrays life for us right now. It is called "Our God is Greater" and it is by Chris Tomlin.
Water You turned into wine
Open the eyes of the blind
There's no one like You
None like You
Into the darkness You shining
Out of the ashes we rise
There's no one like You
None like You
CHORUS
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God...
Into the darkness you shining
Out of the ashes we Rise
There's no One like You
None like You.
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God...
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God...
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/chris-tomlin-our-god-is-greater-lyrics.html ]
BRIDGE
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God...
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God...
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who can ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God...
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Open the eyes of the blind
There's no one like You
None like You
Into the darkness You shining
Out of the ashes we rise
There's no one like You
None like You
CHORUS
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God...
Into the darkness you shining
Out of the ashes we Rise
There's no One like You
None like You.
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God...
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God...
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/chris-tomlin-our-god-is-greater-lyrics.html ]
BRIDGE
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God...
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God...
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who can ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God...
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God...
Monday, November 21, 2011
Unashamed Love
I want to have a childlike faith. That is why my blog is named as it is, and the inspiration for the actual title came from this song. I love it, and I feel its very relevant: Your calling me to lay aside the worries of my day
To quiet down my busy mind and find a hiding place
Worthy, You are worthy I open up my heart and let my spirit worship Yours I open up my mouth and let a song of praise come forth
Worthy You are Worthy Of a childlike faith and of my honest praise And of my unashamed love Of a holy life and of my sacrifice And of my unashamed love
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