The Best of 2012

Cliche-- this post is going to be COMPLETELY and in every way, cliche. So if that bothers you, you may as well turn back now. But mostly I am writing to compile a list of things that impacted me, made me laugh, brought (I almost wrote 'brang') me joy, and that were just cool from 2012. The inspiration came from  http://www.todaysletters.com/, a great blog that I follow-- if you feel like reading the whole list, feel free, if not, I won't be offended... so, here goes--

Best Moments:
-Ministering in Malaysia to homeless and people who are so often overlooked by society
-Being reunited with my sister after 13 months of being separated
-Meeting some of the most genuine people on the planet
-Being loved for who I am and who I am not
-Attending THREE weddings within five months (They were all beautiful!)
-Moving back to Montana to study the Bible 50+ hours a week
-Learning to be completely genuine and honest, even when its hard
-Passion growing
-Henna
-Learning to crochet and make my first headband and hat!
-Drawing again
-Drinking egg nog (Like seriously... egg nog is awesomme ;)

Best Movies:
-Blue Like Jazz (LOVED!!)
-Les Miserables
     (Now I can't think of a single movie I saw this year... what the heck, brain?!)
-The Odd Life of Timothy Green
-The Vow (So good!)
-We Bought a Zoo

Best Books:
-The Ragamuffin Gospel
-Forgotten God (By Francis Chan)
-Choosing to See (Mary Beth Chapman)

**Yes, I read a lot of biographies and Christian literature, its just what I like... :)

Best things I learned:
-Learning how to hear God's voice
-I am loved and worthy because I am Christ's and apart from what anyone says or thinks
-God WANTS to use me!!
-I still hate coffee, tea, however, is fabulous, especially the tangy and fruity kinds!
-People actually really do like me
-Sunburns (Really bad ones) turned tans last a LOOOONNGG time (Like over a year...)
-Reunions are the best
-Sunscreen should be used when out in the sun for long hours of the day (Yep... seems like a no brainer, but apparently that is hard to learn for me...)
-The Bible is awesome and reading it in context makes such a difference
-God is so faithful to work and to love and to show himself
-Time alone is precious and awesome
-Time with people is also precious and awesome... its all about balance :)
-Sunshine and snow are BOTH beautiful
-I still don't like rain that much. But I refuse to use an umbrella
-Ugly sweaters are fun to wear
-Sometimes God calls us to do things we never thought we'd do.... like go back to Montana for SBS :)
-People almost always respond with more grace than I foresee them responding with
-Jesus loves diversity
-My bed needs to be made in order for me to feel fully ready for my day and 'put together' ;)
-Doll houses are still fun
-Watching people grow and change is such a joy
-People don't think about me as much as I think about myself, so its a huge waste of time to wonder what they're thinking. It doesn't really matter anyway-- I serve an audience of One.
-Bible jokes and puns are ridiculous, and yet they make me laugh uncontrollably everytime
-There is beauty all around and LIFE is beautiful.

A few pictures from this year that were significant--
Also, if you've made it this far in the blog, I congratulate you. Go have a brownie.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

I Can Never Think of Creative Titles...

 Prelude: (Yep, I'm awesome and do 'preludes' to my blog posts...) Vulnerability is hard, and that is why I feel like I'm being challenged to do just that-- be vulnerable. So, here goes...

I don't do change well. Often times when I move locations or something shifts in my life, I end up grumpy and unpleasant to be around. I am a creature of habit and I love routine. And when I move, all of that gets shaken and I feel like I have to try to find my bearings once again amidst the craziness.

I think somewhere inside of me is this idea that I will next time somehow handle the tense situation just perfectly. And then when I snap or when I end up being a lot less gracious than I had hoped, I always get disappointed. But I am so glad that I am beginning to understand the truth of sanctification. Its not a destination, its a journey. And I'm grateful that others are on the journey as well. Nope, I'll never be that perfectly gracious, patient person that I paint in my head, but I know that I am growing to be more like Him as I follow Him. As He picks me up and dusts off my skinned knees, and places me back on me feet again.

Sometimes I wonder if others saw everything about me-- all my attitudes, actions and words if I would have any friends. I don't feel very gracious or patient or loving much of the time. Only through His strength can I bit my tongue in the moments that I feel like snapping. And often times, I walk in my own strength, and end up saying something that I regret. Its in these moments-- the moments that I fail miserably in my humanness that I realize all the more, his great 'God-ness.' His perfect nature that comes in and loves me through the mess and reminds me of the fact that I am beloved despite myself. I don't have to earn his love. I don't have to fight for it. Its there-- simply and freely, always. That is why He is different from all other 'gods.' Because its not about me or anybody being good enough to earn his favor, its simply about the fact that His grace covers it, because its like an ocean.

I'm grateful that he doesn't say "Ok, Hannah, you've messed up 456,321 times, now I am done forgiving." Nope. Not once has he ever said that-- nor will he. His love truly is extravagant. It blows me away, and I feel as though I can relate to the Psalmist as he pours out praises upon the Lord-- realizing his great love.

I could never imagine all that I would learn about Him in a few short months, but I can say with more certainty than ever before that His grace is enough and that His love reaches to the heavens, and His faithfulness stretches to the skies. For that, I praise Him.

This song was continually running through my head while writing this, and I borrowed a few lyrics earlier, so give it a listen :)

Cheers.

His Birthday

I've been back 'home' for a week now, for Christmas break, and I have to say that this week has been different than expected, but I am learning what it means to live in simplicity with sweet Jesus.

 I always tend to complicate the simple. The concept of following Jesus is simple, but it isn't easy. God has been showing me the simplicity as I've been here at home. He's given me a rest and a peace as I've walked through some tough things with people I love. Normally my heart would be in knots and my head would be spinning in a time like this, but all I feel now is complete peace and rest in the arms of a loving Savior. And all I can say is 'thank you.'

He's showing me that life with him is a daily thing. It really isn't about how long I spend in silence or reading my Bible everyday-- its about surrendering everyday to His will and His plans for my life. Its about saying 'yes' to living for him and saying 'no' to the things of the world. I am so grateful that God doesn't measure success in the way that humans so often do. He looks at the heart-- for Him its always been about the condition of the heart.

He's showing me that he alone is source of peace and joy. Even in rough times, even in times of uncertainty, He is the source of strength that keeps me going. I could not continue on by myself, but each day as I wake up, he grants daily bread and bestows some of His strength upon me, to get through the day-- whatever may come.

He's showing me that it isn't about straining to be good enough, because, I simply can't be 'good enough.' I fail everyday. But through Christ's sacrifice, I am made clean and whole in Him. That is the most beautiful promise. He was and is good enough, and that was more than enough to cover all of our sins. I realize more and more how sin-cursed this world is, and how in need of a Savior we all are. And in that, I am grateful for the One that came to be that sacrifice for our sins.

And on that note-- Merry Christmas, and Happy birthday, Jesus! Thank you...

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

"Its the most wonderful time of the year!" and "I'm dreaming of a White Christmas..." are among the many festive lyrics heard between Thanksgiving and Christmas day every year. I enjoy Christmas-- the lights and the jolly spirit of many. I love the decorations and picking out the perfect gift for all those on my list. Presents were always my favorite as a child-- of course.

And while I enjoy these things, and I don't think they're wrong or bad, God has been reminding me where the focus should be. Its about Jesus coming, in human form, humbly and as a baby, to save the world. As I've thought about the birth of Jesus this year, its been impossible for me NOT to think of his entire life. His coming as a baby was significant, because it was the means that God used to forgive his people of their sins, so they could live with him in eternity.

So often we think about the birth of Jesus at this time, and that is what Christmas is about, but I think its so important to remember what his birth meant, and what it led to. It led to human beings being able to approach the throne of grace with confidence, knowing that their sins were forgiven and their debt was paid. He came into the world to save sinners (1 Timothy 1:15). Jesus entire life is what mattered. And his entire life was lived as a sacrifice and as a servant-- even though he was God himself, the King incarnate! That is what Christmas is about.

Enjoy the festivities, but don't let them become the focus. Jesus really is the greatest gift ever given, and through that gift, we can LIVE.

He is the LIGHT of the world. I love the significance of Christmas lights-- they're fun and all, but they're also a great symbolism of Jesus coming, as the light that the world so desperately needed.

And, this is what Christmas is about, in a nutshell--

Merry Christmas, All!

Just Breathe

I am always amazed at the faithfulness of God. I really don't know why I am always amazed, every time he is faithful, because that is part of His character that never changes. I think it takes me a while to learn these things sometimes. He just faithfully does his thing and patiently teaches me his truth.

I am experiencing God in a different way than I ever have. He is teaching me things that I've never thought much about. He's showing me that He really is all I need. That He is provider, healer and comforter.

I wrote this down the other day, while listening to a song by Jeremy Camp; the lyrics say-- "..Take the world and give me Jesus...":

That means he clears out everything that isn't of him and he takes out the things that we grasp onto that are idols. He cleanses us of all that is "us" and replaces it with him. Are you willing to let him do that? Are you willing to allow his to have everything, trusting that He knows better and that He will do as He sees fit? He is trustworthy and faithful. All that He has to offer is BETTER than anything the world has to offer. It always will be. 

FAITHFUL.

I can hardly believe that school is almost a third of the way over-- I feel as though all that He's taught and shown and been faithful to reveal is just mind blowing. Its a little bit overwhelming, and I'm actually not really sure how to put it into words. But I can say, with more assurance than ever before-- HE IS FAITHFUL! He really is. And something that He's reminded me of in that is an eternal perspective makes a huge difference. When we remember where we will be in eternity, the hardships of this life don't seem as daunting. Heaven is going to be awesome!

Life isn't always easy, and I am aware that its challenging, and hard and really sad sometimes. And this journey hasn't been an easy one. There have been a lot of challenges that have met me on my way, but in that I know that I don't walk alone. He promised to be with His children, and that is such a comfort to me (Joshua 1:5). 

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

From the Inside, Out

This journey has been insane-- I'm reading through the Bible, and we're moving so quickly, and yet God is faithful to show himself through scripture and through the words spoken each day.

He's been showing me some pretty incredible things--

We had a speaker come a few weeks ago, and he asked if God never spoke to us again, if we'd be alright with that. That was a challenge. And its something that I remembered as I thumbed through my journal again, today. And even if I never heard him speak to me today, I have his word which is eternal, and he speaks through that. How powerful.

That next week were were singing 'How He Loves' and a line from the song says-- 'He loves like a hurricane' and it dawned on me that I had never, not once thought of what that meant. But when I took a few moments, it was mind blowing. This is what God showed me--

A hurricane is all consuming, it picks up everything in its path. 

It is a large, driving force and you can see the effects of it after its gone through.

The land doesn't remain untouched. There is a definite change, and its noticable.

Maybe that is what the lyricist was trying to convey by that.

His love changes us, shakes us up and consumes our entire being.

Its not a weak or pathetic love. 

Its a MASSIVE love. Its a love that causes foundations to be shaken, until He becomes the foundation.

A hurricane is POWERFUL.

You love like a hurricane, and yet, that doesn't even come close. 

Wow. 

God usually speaks about the same thing for a period of time, to me. And he reminded me yesterday of this truth--

To love God from the inside out means to first love him in our hearts, to believe and trust in His goodness, and then for that love to come bubbling out in how we live our lives, in serving and loving God and others.

But that ultimately flows from a love for God that starts of the inside. 

The outside is just a mirror of what is on the inside. 

And as I study the Bible, although each book has its own theme, the thread that runs through the entire Bible seems to be this-- 

YOUR SIN IS NOT TOO BIG FOR GOD TO FORGIVE. Because of His sacrifice on the cross, because of his bruised, broken body on our behalf, we are justified in Him. Its not about doing more good works than bad works. Its about just having faith in the truth of His promise and love.

We're studying Romans this week, and that is in there so clearly. For us in might not be an argument over circumcision, but how often do we make a tally list and judge based off of how well someone keeps the 'law' (which by the way, only shows how sinful we are)? His grace is beyond that, but we must accept it. He doesn't force anyone upon himself, He wants people to come willingly and with a genuine love for him. 

I am loving learning about this. His word is so powerful.

Watch Me!

A child no older than the age of five taught me a really beautiful lesson today.

I had been working all day, and needed a little break--so I took advantage of the sunshine, and the beautiful deck off of our dorm. I sat out there, and as the sun poured onto me, I listened to the sounds of children riding their trikes on the pavement below. They were loving life, and didn't have a care in the world. One of the little girls shouted, "Watch me, daddy!" As she attempted to show off her biking skills.

It was at that moment that God spoke to me. He reminded me that that is like his relationship to us. Just as any parent delights in their child's success and loves to watch them learn new things and discover the world, so He loves watching us learn and grow. We trek out, on our wobbly two wheel bike, and we shout "Watch me, daddy!" and there He is, to watch and to smile and to catch us when we fall. There he is to cheer us on and to love us through our failures and successes.

I am convinced that He loves it when we step out and try something new, when we're so enamored with life, and we just shout, "Watch me, Daddy!" That he is proud  when we live and love life. Today He reminded me to see the world through the eyes of a child. To children, life is an adventure, and they have no trouble believing in their loving, Heavenly Father.

He is good!