Thankfulness

This is cliche, but in a good way. November is the season of thankfulness, and I thought I would jump on the bandwagon and share some things I am thankful for. There are many things that I have to be grateful for, and I've been more aware of my blessings recently.

Here are some of the biggest blessings in my life:

The ability and funds to get an education.
Love and support from my parents and sister.
Laughter.
My cat.
My sister who always makes time for me.
Salvation.
Lots of fun, encouraging friends.
The ability to read.
Good movies.
Hot Chocolate.
CHOCOLATE in general.
Sunshine.
Fall Leaves.
Snow.
Warm blankets.
Flowers.
God.
Traveling.

I could go on and on. But these are some of the things I am most grateful for this 'holiday' season.

** I do not like the term Holiday. Someone referred to Thanksgiving as 'the holiday' today. I was like... 'you mean thanksgiving??' (I didn't really say that.) Since when are Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years called, 'the holidays??' I refer to them as 'the holidays' sometimes, when referring to all of them. But I like to use their names :)

Have a blessed Thanksgiving!!

Sometimes

My head hurts, and I am contemplating many things. Sometimes life just does not make sense. Sometimes its just hard, and I don't know why. Sometimes I wish, by the waving of a magic wand, or the snapping of my fingers I could change my own, or another's suffering. Sometimes I wish I could be more confident in my own abilities instead of slipping so often. Sometimes, I just wish that I could tell the future, and see what it is that this crazy thing called 'life' holds. Sometimes.

There are so many emotions running through me right now. It is odd that someone can feel a plethora of emotions at any one time. And yet, it happens to me, often. There is frustration, thankfulness, confusion and probably a hundred other emotions that I feel.

Sometimes I cry out to God and ask why I am suffering the way I am. Why my life has to be so hard and inconvenient in the moment. Sometimes I just want God to answer me, and explain everything that is going on. And yet, often there is not an explanation. I so often act as though I am entitled to one.

Sometimes these moments come because of my own doing, sometimes they come simply because this world is not a perfect place. And hurt and frustration comes in all forms. Some problems are bigger than others, and some need more attention than others. Sometimes the thing that is bothering me is only a problem because it is an inconvenience to my life.

Sometimes my heart breaks for others. I so wish it were in my power to take away any suffering that they face. I want to cry with them, and tell them it will be okay, and offer just the perfect words, that will somehow magically make their pain dissolve. It is excruciating to see other people suffer, as well as to be powerless to change their situation.

I notice that in situations like that I jump in with words, with advice, when often a listening ear is simply what is needed. I don't need to try to be superwoman, and fix the worlds problems. Often, a caring heart, and listening ear speaks louder than me actually saying anything. I know because, when I am hurting, I do not want people to tell me what they think the source of my suffering is. I don't want them to try and make things better by offering some empty words. And I do not want them to act as though they need to solve my problems. I simply want someone to sit down, hold my hand and listen. I want them to cry with me, and be sympathetic to my situation.

Sometimes things do not go according to plan. Sometimes I feel like giving up on school. Sometimes the load that I am carrying seems like too much, and the weight of a single flippant comment could be enough to bring me down. And yet, somehow, each time that I think 'this is the day that I am going to fall beneath all of this weight' I get up, I go to school, I go to work, and I make it through the day, still standing. Sometimes I am stronger than I realize, through His power.

The following lyrics and quotes sum up much of what I am trying to say in this post. They touched me, and I hope they offer encouragement to others:

“I hear religious minded people say all the time with good intentions. ‘God will never place a burden on you so heavy that  you cannot possibly carry it.’
Really?
My experience is that God will place a burden on you so heavy that you cannot possibly carry it alone. He will break your back and your will. He will buckle your legs until you fall flat beneath the crushing weight of your load. All the while He will walk beside you waiting for you to come to the point where you must depend on Him.
‘My power is made perfect in your weakness,’ He says, as we strain under our burden.
Whatever the burden, it might indeed get worse, but know this-God is faithful. And while we change and get old, He does not. When we get weaker, He remains strong. And in our weakness and humility, He offers us true, lasting, transforming, and undeserved grace.”

-Greg Lucas

"You can spend your whole life buildin'

Something from nothin

One storm can come and blow it all away

Build it anyway

You can chase a dream

That seems so out of reach

And you know it might not ever come your way

Dream it anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good

And when I pray

It doesn't always turn out like I think it should

But I do it anyway

I do it anyway

This worlds gone crazy

And it's hard to believe

That tomorrow will be better than today

Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all YOUR heart

For all the right reasons

And in a moment they can choose to walk away

love em anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good

And when I pray

It doesn't always turn out like I think it should

But I do it anyway

Yeah I do it anyway, yeah,

You can pour your soul out singin'

A song you believe in

That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang

Sing it anyway

Yeah sing it anyway, yeah, yeah

I sing

I dream

I love anyway, yeah."

 -Do it Anyway (Martina McBride)

Another thing that I remembered recently were some words that I heard Alyssa Barlow, from the Band 'BarlowGirl' say. She was talking about the song, 'This is not Forever.' Here are her words:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrarTIsT24s&feature=related

Please watch the whole thing. It is very worth it. These are the words that stuck out to me 'Alyssa, I'm not going to take you out of this situation, I'm going to take you through it.'

Those are words that I need to hear, often.