Days like this

Its days like this, days where I am exhausted, emotional and ready for a nap that make me wonder if I will ever get the hang of adult life. So many responsibilities, so many commitments, so many decisions. When and how does one go from being dependent to independent? From child to adult? From immature to mature? From irresponsible to responsible? 

Many days I cruise right along, content, happy, and completely joyful about life. But some days, like today, I start questioning all of it. I don't feel very good at being an adult yet. I haven't been 'an adult' very long now, and honestly, its been a tough transition. Its not one that is easy. But it is one that is possible. I know that I learn a little more about how to make it through this crazy life each and every day. I know that I mature a little, grow a little, become a bit more independent each day. But its slow. And that is what gets me. It is not a quick, tidy, neat process. There is no wrapping it up and tying it with a bow. Its messy, tough, and exhausting. But it is worth the fight, because its through struggles that growth happens. At least that is the case in my life. 

So, I will continue to trust that someday I will get the hang of it. That someday, I will feel like I can maneuver this life as an adult. But I will also keep in mind that I will never be perfect at it. Of course, there will still be days when I question my sanity and abilities, but, I will trust my ability to make wise decisions. And I will be okay with not having it all together.  Who am I trying to fool? NONE of us has it all together. That brings me comfort. 

Continuing to discover. Always. 

Peace

This time in my life is possibly one of the most hectic, chaotic and confusing that I have ever experienced. And there are many days that I feel like maybe I don't have the strength the continue. But each day I wake up to the sun shining in my window, and a brand new chance to make something great out of my time. 

And each morning there is an undeniable peace that follows me throughout my days, reminding me that although I don't know what the future holds, I know the one who holds my future. I can't explain it. I should not have peace considering all that is taking place, but I do. And I couldn't be more grateful that God has calmed my frazzled nerves, and has spoken truth into my heart. I still have my rough times, but even during those times, I cannot ignore the peace that I have. 

I am content with the present, and excited for the future.