Sunday, March 25, 2012

Sometimes I sit here, just reminiscing and thinking about my life and I begin to wonder: "Who gets to do this?? Who gets to travel the world, and learn about God and make awesome friends, and spend time every week with kids that I adore, and live in a beautiful house and have a family who I love dearly and who loves me back and who gets to drive and read and scrapbook and laugh and watch movies and share my life and live a life that is this blessed??"

I am blown away. Every second of my life God has been right by my side. Not once have I ever walked alone. Not once has He ever abandoned me or told me that I needed to get my act together before He could be with me. Nope. Not once. His patience and love is beyond bounds. He is faithful and righteous. He has provided every step of the way. Not one day of my life have I been hungry, or not had clothes to wear (unless I didn't do laundry when I should have... but that is my fault, ha!) Never have I not had transportation to get where I needed to go. Never have I not had someone to talk to when I was struggling.

Really... who gets to live this awesome life?? At 21 years of age, I can say, I am truly blessed. I have done nothing to deserve the Lord's favor on my life, but He blesses me nonetheless. Why? Sometimes I wonder that. Why does He bless me?? I am so often selfish and proud, and yet I am reminded that He doesn't bless me for how 'good' I am, He blesses me because I am His. I can't think of a more comforting promise. I am His. And I will rest in the fact that He is GOOD and He knows all.

Your love, O, Lord, reaches to the
heavens,
your faithfulness is like the mighty
mountains, 
your justice is like the great deep.
O, Lord, you preserve both man and
beast.

Psalm 36:5-6

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Thoughts from "Searching for God Knows What" By Donald Miller (Part II)

Can I just say, quickly, that this book is changing how I think about things-- in a good way. It is amazingly thought provoking and the writing style and contents are awesome. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is interested in any book on Christian Spirituality.

"And yet the crime the couple committed seems unforgivable. They fell for a trick. Far from a technicality in behavior, their eating of the fruit was a heart-level betrayal between committed friends: God and man. At issue in the tragedy of the Garden is a relational crime. Adam and Eve were not satisfied with their relationship with God, and they wanted to change the dynamic by increasing their own power, a reality that simply wasn't possible, save the fantasy realm whispered to them through the words of the evil one" (83).

"I get this feeling sometimes that after the world ends, when God destroys all our buildings and our flags, we will wish we had seen everybody as equal, that we had eaten dinner with prostitutes, held them in our arms, opened up spare rooms for them and loved them and learned from them. I was just another stupid child in the flow, you know; I didn't know any of these things. I didn't know it didn't matter what a person looked like, how much money they made of whether or not they were cool. I didn't know that cool was just a myth and that one person was just as beautiful and meaningful as another" (104).

"As horrible as it sounds, it would make sense that things of worth are things God loves, and things that don't have worth are things God doesn't love. I mean, I really started wondering if maybe a human is defined by who loves him. I know it sounds terrible, because we have always grown up believing that a person is valuable even if nobody loves them, and I certainly agree with that because God made everybody and the Bible very clearly states He loves everybody. But, as Paul said, if those relations are disturbed, the relations between God and man, then we feel the desire to be loved and respected by other people instead of God, and if we don't get that love and respect, we feel very sad or angry because we know that our glory is at stake, that if there isn't some glory being shone through us by somebody who has authority, we'll be dead inside, like a little light will go out and our souls will feel dark, like nothing can grow there. We'll feel that there is a penalty, by default, for being removed from love" (108).

"People see what they want to see based on what associations are going to help them survive" (112).

"I watched an interview with Mel Gibson recently, about his film The Passion of the Christ. Gibson said it was important for Jesus to look very masculine in the film, and he wanted an actor who was good-looking. And I thought the movie The Passion was quite beautiful, bit I wondered if very many people would go to see it if the guy who played Jesus in the movie were ugly. And that made me wonder how many people would follow Jesus today if, say, He showed up in America looking the way He looked thousands of years ago. I wondered if anybody would want to interview Jesus on television. I'll bet, if Jesus came to America and tried to do television interviews, the only people who would interview Him would be the people on public television, because on public television they are not concerned about associating their television personalities with the commercial endorsement of products" (125).

Simple Truths






Thursday, March 15, 2012

What the HECK just happened??

That is what I am wondering. I've been home for about five weeks, and I am still processing every day, trying to figure out all of these questions in my head; trying to get some clarity into what it is that took place over the past five months; and desperately trying to settle back into life here at home, while also struggling to maintain long distance relationships and just kind of wishing everyone I love was in one place.

I knew the 'adjustment' wasn't going to be easy. It hasn't been. But it also hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be... or rather, its been hard in different ways than I had anticipated. Its like, I live and think differently now, and I don't know how to incorporate everything into my life here at home. Because there isn't that same 'community' as there was in Montana. Community was everywhere. Sometimes it drove me crazy, because I never got a moment alone. But most of the time, I loved it.

Something I'm learning through this is: Life is about relationship. Relationship with the Father; relationship with others. Its about loving. Its about taking risks. People aren't always going to agree or understand, or like you. But what does it matter? People didn't like Jesus either, and he was freaking perfect. And I am learning what the body is supposed to look like. I am learning that it is possible to have the best friends a girl could ask for hundred, thousands of miles away. Even oceans away. Geographical distance doesn't determine relational closeness... at least it shouldn't.

Yeah... He's teaching me a lot. And I love what He's teaching me. But in the process, I am being stretched and challenged. Which I don't always like. But, in the end, it is always right. In the end, its what I need.

I suspect this processing that is taking place will continue to for some time. Everyone that I have talked to who went through the same experience, is still processing. And quite frankly, that is probably a good thing. It seems to me that the day we stop 'processing' is the day we stop learning. And we were meant to learn and grow. It is how we become more of who we were meant to be. So I will enjoy the journey.

Monday, March 12, 2012

I Want to be Like a Tree

This song has been rolling around in my head for the past little while, and I love the message of it. Its based off of Jeremiah 17:8, and its a beautiful song.

I do not own this song. 'I want to Be Like a Tree' by Justin Rizzo.

Monday, March 5, 2012

There is something inside of me that so desires to grab a hold of the steering wheel and to just hold on until my knuckles turn white, because, heaven forbid something unexpected happens. If I have the steering wheel, then I know where I'm going. I have control, and then I won't have anything to worry about. At least, that is what I think in my subconscious being. If a bump comes, I know its coming, if a curve comes, I can prepare myself. But if I give the steering wheel away, I don't always know what is coming, or even I do, I don't control the car.

So today I am learning to let go of the wheel and let "Jesus take the wheeeelll, take it from my hands!" Yep. I am learning to let go of control and focus intently on my Savior, the one who has it all under control. And I am learning to enjoy the ride. It is a beautiful ride, if I just spend a little time looking out the window.

Don't forget to look out the window.

I do not own this video. From youtube.com

With Dreams as big
 as the Texas sky!

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Not Afraid

I feel like this song very accurately describes my place in life right now. 

"Not Afraid Anymore"
By: Leeland

I feel Your lightning waking me up
From the sleep of my timid soul
I’ve been in hiding from all Your plans
Your command that told me to go
And I’ve spent all my life keeping my head down
But I’m lifting up my eyes
I raise my flag up high, my flag up high

I’m not afraid anymore
‘Cause I am running with Your fire, Lord
I’m picking up my sword
You train my hands and my fingers for war
I’m not afraid anymore

I hear the trumpet ringing out in these streets
Where kingdoms collide
So I’m responding
This is a fight for love, this is death or life
And when my knees are weak
I know Your hands are strong
And they are holding me
I’ll never be alone, never be alone

You’re chasing my fears away
There’s no reason to be afraid
Your love is here chasing my fears away

Your love is here chasing my fears away 


Friday, March 2, 2012

Thougths from: "Searching For God Knows What" By Donald Miller

"Of course, I got frustrated. And it really got me thinking that, perhaps formula books, by that I mean books that take you through a series of steps, may not be all that compatible with the Bible, I looked on the shelf at all the self help books I happened to own, the ones about losing weight, the ones about making girls like you, the ones about getting rich and, the ones about starting your own pirate radio station, and I realized none of them actually helped me all that much. All the promises of fulfillment really didn't work. My life was fairly normal before I had read them, meaning I had good days and bad days, and then my life was fairly normal after I read them too, meaning I still had good days and bad days. It made me wonder, honestly, if such a complex existence as the one you and I are living can really be broken down into a few steps. It seems if there were a formula to fix life, Jesus would have told us what it was" (11).

"I realize, of course, that this is very silly and there is no such thing as a genie that lives in a lamp, but it makes me wonder if secretly we don't wish God were a genie who could deliver a few wishes here and there. And that makes me wonder if what we really want from the formulas are the wishes, not God. It makes me wonder if what we want is control, not a relationship" (12).