The words to this song really resonated with me today:

'You Are For Me' -- Kari Jobe

So faithful, so constant and so true
So powerful in all You do
You fill me, You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to You

I know that You are for me, I know that You are for me
I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness
And I know that You have come now even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who You are

So patient, so gracious, so merciful and true
So wonderful in all You do
You fill me, You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to You
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/k/kari_jobe/you_are_for_me.html ]
Lord, I know that You are for me, I know that You are for me
I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness
And I know that You have come now even if to write upon my heart
To remind me

Lord, I know that You are for me, I know that You are for me
I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness
And I know that You have come now even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who You are
To remind me

I know that You are for me, I know that You are for me
I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness
And I know that You have come now even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who You are

Funkified

 Do you like the name of my post? I thought it was appropriate :)

I'm at this really funky place in life right now. It is bittersweet; easy and hard. I am at a crossroads of sorts. It really makes no sense to me, all of the thoughts flowing through my brain at any given time... but they're thoughts that need to be thought about.

I have some big decisions to make. Some things that I am uncertain about. And every now and again I get a bit stressed when I am thinking about it all, but mostly, I have peace. I really do. It is complete madness to me to have peace in the midst of all of this, but I do. God has just come in and really given me this underlying peace, despite these decisions that need to be made. I know He's guiding me and showing me what He has for me. No doubt about it.

Revelations always happen in the shower or in the car. Am I right?! Yeah, I'm right. Today was no different. I was driving up to a friends' house this morning, thinking about the possibilities for the future, and I was whining to God a bit, and He kind of just spoke to me and said: "Hannah, you think that I am not answering you quickly, but if that is true, its because I want you to seek me out. Its so easy to go about life all giddy and happy when things make sense, and not rely on me fully. But when things are uncertain and tough, then you really have to rely fully on me. I am drawing you to myself through this. Trust me. You are growing, and learning about me because you have to wait."

Wow. Is that ever true! It reminds me of a podcast I was listening to last night. It is by Andy Stanley, who pastors Northpoint Community Church in Louisiana, or Georgia, or somewhere in that vicinity (I am a geography genius, clearly). He was talking about how when others are going through a hard time, we pray for them, when we're going through hard times, we doubt. Then he said this: "Why is it when its our lives, our faith suffers?" Wow. That is a bold statement to make. But so often we go around with the mentality that because God is silent, He must be absent. It is baffling, really. The reality of who God is does not change based off of our circumstances.

So, needless to say, I am learning a lot right now. And I am loving it. God is really showing me so many truths about Himself. He is so faithful.

Here is a link the podcast. Give it a listen:

http://www.northpoint.org/messages/when-god

I will wait

This is a good one. Take a second to watch.

 

Current affairs.

I have had so much on my mind over the past couple of weeks, I'm sure you could fill a library with them. But so much of the time I haven't known how to put them into words. Writing is easier than speaking right now, because the thoughts flow better; but its still a stretch.

Adjusting to life at home has been interesting to say the least. Its insanity to come from this life of having a schedule and being busy always to having little to no schedule and loads of free time. I need this down time, but it is such a drastic change from what I've grown accustomed to, I think the first couple of days I was still in shock. So often its like I'm walking around in a fog, not sure if this is 'real life' or not.

 I wouldn't trade the experience I've had for anything in the world. It changed me in ways I didn't even realize until I got home. I shared things that I wasn't able to share before. I made better friends in five months than I ever would have expected. I learned about our Father and His immense love for us. I heard Him speak, to ME! I cried. A lot. But they were healing tears. They were tears that I needed to cry.

I can look back, five months later and see the work that God did in my life, and the lives of those I have come to call 'family.' He is a good God, and He did some awesome work. He never gave up on us, He continued molding us, and shaping us. Even when I didn't like it, and when I was uncomfortable and asked God to take me out of the hard situations, He continued to work.

Something I know is true, and that I can say with every fiber of my being now: God is faithful. He is patient and His love exceeds bounds. He is a GOOD God.

Even now as I am processing, and trying to figure out what comes next, He is guiding me. He is giving me peace and contentment and showing me how deeply He desires fellowship with His children. It never ceases to amaze me.

I love my God.

And I leave you with another small glimpse into my life over the past five months:

 Halloween Festival. I was a 90's kid. Bam.

 This base is beautiful always. I love it.

 Me and my Malaysian friend.

 YWAM. Also known as: Home

 Commissioning night: showing the changes that God brought about in our lives.

 First team breakfast in Malaysia.

 In Malaysia with Salem Korean DTS!

A glimpse...

...into the past five months. 

All in this together

I don't really even have words. This journey of DTS as we knew it has ended. We laughed together. Cried together. Loved together. Talked together. Worked out problems together. Walked down to the lake together. Braved the elements together. Went overseas together. Experienced God's love together. Experienced healing together. Got in trouble for being too loud together. It was all together. 

I've come to realize something profound in these last couple of months: There is something beautiful about togetherness. Something beautiful about unity, oneness; being a family. I can't explain it. But it is how life is supposed to be. We were never meant to live lives of solitude. We were meant to be together. Together, we can do so much more than we can alone. Together we create a strong force. Together we experience life. And that is what we were created for. 

A couple of nights ago, though tears, I told my school that for the first time in my life, I really understood what the body of Christ looked like. So often the body of Christ does not look how it should. Over the past five months I have realized that the body of Christ is a place of acceptance and love. Its a place of honesty and vulnerability. Its a place of forgiveness and truth spoken in love. It is made up of imperfect people, who mess up regularly, who need forgiveness, who cannot do it on their own. It is a place of peace. Of rest. Of adventure and challenge. It is diverse. It includes individuals with many unique, but equally important gifts. It is made of people who love God. It is a place of beauty.

We are saying good bye to our time together, here at this base. But we are not saying good bye for good. The body is united through states and countries; over seas and mountains. Through storms and sunshine. We are one in the body. Nothing can change that. We are a family. Brothers and sisters. And even though we are apart, we are still together. This is what I love about the body. 

I love you, family.