I know, dating is supposed to be fun. But honestly, in my experience it's been exhausting. Trying to interpret the 'signs' and putting myself out there enough, but not too much. And not being able to go out on a date without eyebrows raised, asking about when the wedding is.
Good lord.
No wonder there are so many hurting hearts and folks getting strung along for a year, two, three, because no one is rising up to communicate with honor and respect.
It feels like a maze. But with trap doors and pits and dead ends all over.
I'm kind of over it.
I've been told that I'm an old soul and that I'm old school. I'm alright with both of those labels-- because they're true. And because I think there is actually a lot of untapped goodness of being 'old school'.
I don't think that men have do to the asking out. But I sure hope they will.
I cannot explain the value, trust, honor, character and courage it communicates when the men do the asking.
Also, when you're straightforward about your intentions, you gain mad respect in my book. No one is proposing marriage on the first date, but you think I'm interesting? Tell me. Want to get to know me better. Communicate that.
Its hard. I get it. Being honest about our deep and inward thoughts and feelings always is. But its also the most worth it thing. Its also a really solid foundation to start building a relationship on. Communication is key to healthy relationships.
Dating is hard. I don't think it has to be, but I think because humans are complicated, and there are emotions and hormones and infatuation and over-analyzing involved, it gets messy pretty quickly.
But I believe we can date better. I believe we can honor and respect one another by being straightforward.
I believe we can show strength of character and godliness while dating by being willing to courageously communicate about things that matter, from the get go.
So, maybe its just me that isn't really that fond of modern cultural dating, but I have a feeling I'm not alone in this...
After all, good communication shows respect and love to others, and they will know we are Christians by our love, right?
We can do better.
*Matt Chandler, pastor of the Village Church has been an influence on my life-- he speaks about this phenomenon here. Also, our dating issues relate back to both men and women. We can all do better.
Blogger Krysti Wilkinson has been another influence on my thoughts regarding dating. Soak in the words below, as many of my thoughts were spurred by this, and other similar blog posts:
