What Experiential Learning Taught Me

Trust.

That is the primary lesson I learned through Experiential learning this year. As a part of that we hiked at Silver Creek Falls, being asked to do some unexpected things in order to build trust and learn to communicate as a team. We had to each place our feet in a rope that had loops in it, while hiking on some rocky terrain, we were forced to walk together, to communicate and trust each other as we worked hard to not fall.

This was just the beginning of learning to lean on one another as a team, and take that into our job as R.A.'s this year. Knowing that we had a support system behind us that loved us and was cheering us on allowed the hard parts of the job to feel a little easier, and the victorious and rewarding parts of the job to be that much sweeter.

 It was a risk, just like walking with that rope around our ankles-- we feared we might trip and sometimes we couldn't see very far in the distance, so we also had to trust our leader to get us safely to where we needed to be. It was out of everyone else's hands. I learned that these people called 'my team' were some of my biggest supporters and they were trustworthy.

We also had to learn to trust the ultimate leader, our Heavenly Father. It is not always easy. There are difficult conversations, residents that are sometimes disconnected and emotional time and energy when you're feeling empty is often required. It was in those moments that we had to realize and remember the goodness and trustworthiness of our Father. We had to place it in His hands, believing that He knew where we were going, even when we couldn't see it.

Trust is a difficult lesson, but a crucial one to the life of the believer. Experiential Learning showed me the importance of trust at the deepest level.

Great is Thy Faithfulness

People often ask me if it is hard to think about the future without my mom. They wonder what it feels like to know she won't be present.

In response, I always tell them 'yes, it is hard. So, so hard.' I hate the fact that she won't be present at my graduation in a week. She so desperately wanted to be there and reminded my sister and I over and over how proud she was of us. I wish she could see it, and maybe she can. I don't know what heaven is like.

Right after mom passed away, when I would think of the future, I could hardly imagine doing life without her there. How would I know what to do when I had a baby that was colicky at 2 in the morning? What about when I needed relationship advice? Who would I go to? I realized that I so desperately needed my mom, but I didn't have a choice. She was gone, and I was forced to learn what it looked like to do life this side of heaven without her. That felt daunting and terrifying.

As the days and weeks continued, the fear subsided little by little and I realized that I was able to function, despite the difficulty. I realized that my heart, while deeply pained, was resilient.

My mom won't be physically present when I say 'I do' or when I have my first child or when I graduate or start my first full time job, and that grieves me. But I also find joy in remembering and knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that she was so, so proud of my sister and I. And I am comforted by the gentle and yet fierce embrace of my Heavenly dad. He truly is the best comforter and the wonderful counselor. He's given me all I've needed through the darkest days of my life. The days when I was confused and scared and angry, He brought peace and a deep reminder of His greatness and steadfast love.

Steadfast. Unmovable. Never ending. Constant.
That is the Father's love for His children, and I have experienced that more profoundly these past 8 months than ever before.
Great is His Faithfulness.