There is a campus wide joke that goes around- "Ring by Spring." And everyone "gasps" when you graduate and aren't in a serious relationship or engaged. Its mostly good fun, but there is also some truth to the sly statements that make their way into conversation.
This is the time of life when people my age are dating seriously, getting engaged and married and even starting families. I have friends my age who are all of those stages.
And I love it. I love that I get to journey with my friends who are in relationships. I get to hear about the ups and downs. I get to hear about the things they love about their special someone. I get to listen as they tell me about dates and qualities that they admire.
I love that I get to go bridesmaids dress shopping with my girlfriends that are engaged. I love that I get to brainstorm and help dream up ideas and color schemes and the perfect day for my good friends. I love that I get to stand up on the altar with them as they promise to 'forever.'
I love that for my newly married friends, I get to glean wisdom from them as they share joys and lessons learned. I love watching as their lives become one and their dreams and passions merge into one.
I love that I get to check up on my friends that are having kids and get to touch their pregnant bellies and talk to their little one. I love watching them become parents and I love seeing the light that comes as that child enters the world. I love holding their precious little one and supporting them on their journey of learning how to change diapers and make a bottle.
It is beautiful.
Relationships, marriage and families are a gift from the Lord. I firmly believe that.
But you know what I also believe? I also believe that singleness is a gift. I believe that there is so much to gain and learn and experience during the single years.
I have not always felt like this, in fact, it is a relatively recent (as of about a year ago) realization. Growing up, marriage was always the ideal. It was always what I strove for. It was my ultimate goal. And I still desire it, deeply.
But it is no longer my end goal.
It is not the only thing I want to do with my life.
I want to travel. I want to disciple and mentor. I want to live in community. I want to counsel. I want to eat lots of cheese. I want to be serving in the church. I want to work with kids. I want to live near my family. I want to grow in the Lord. I want to become fluent in Spanish. I want to spend time overseas. I want to read the Classics. I want to decorate a home. I want to take pictures. I want to plan events. I want to teach. I want to love.
All of these dreams are achievable outside of marriage. I have been learning that one way to use the single years well is to become passionate about something and to pursue that wholeheartedly. Have a purpose. Don't live your life waiting for the perfect macho man. Your life is valuable TODAY, single of married.
When I really started pursiung what I loved was when contentment seemed so much closer. It seemed as though contentment found me when I stopped 'waiting' to get married and instead focused on serving the Lord and others now.
I love that the Lord does not use us in only one stage of life. He uses us in each stage. And looking back, I am glad that I am not married during this season. I get to do some things that would look a lot differently or would be pretty difficult to do as a married person. I get to live with 22 other girls and do life with them everyday. That is pretty unique. I can travel as it fits in my schedule and budget. I get to spend all of my time investing in friends and family.
Indeed, singleness is a gift. And I am oh, so grateful that the Lord was patient enough to teach me that. As Christians, we are called to have a high view of singleness, as Paul does, in 1 Corinthians 7.
So lets love and honor marriage for the gift and blessing that it is. But lets not idolize it. Lets not make it the 'be all, end all' of our lives.
