To My Community: Thank You

Ok. I have to admit, I am borrowing stealing this idea from a fellow blogger friend of mine. She wrote about her community a while back, and it stuck with me. I thought it was brilliant, and I've been feeling challenged lately to express gratitude purposefully and intentionally. So, thank you Amy for this idea. (Also, check out her blog-- its inspiring, and full of Jesus and wisdom--http://amynwolff.blogspot.com/ )

I am beyond blessed, and my life is filled with people that bless me daily in small and large ways. They share wisdom, laughs, tears and willingly and purposefully invest in my life. I am changed because of their presence in my life. Thank you to my beautiful community.

Melissa D-- Thank you for being willing to open up and share your story in Bible study and for living with firmness and passion. I am grateful for what you remind me of daily-- if God has placed a calling and passion upon your life, follow it!

Berkeley-- Thank you for being an example of firmness and strength of convictions. Thank you for bearing your heart-- joys and sorrows, and allowing me to do the same. And thanks for keeping me on track with working out, always encouraging me to 'keep going.' Thank you for being a safe place and for the deep belly laughs that we share. I am abundantly blessed to call you 'friend.'

Tabitha-- Thank you for being there to navigate the deep waters of school and relationships with me. Thank you for long phone conversations and for your ever-present listening ear. 

Emily G.-- Thank you for being a woman who stands strong in her faith no matter the storm that may rage. Thank you for being my 'crafting buddy' and for the genuine conversations that come out of that.

Jozlyn--  Thank you for being my 'older sister' for 7 years now. Your wisdom and gentle insight show Christ's unfailing love in a really beautiful way. Thank you for finding time, while balancing motherhood, being a wife and running countless errands to sit, talk and pray. It means the world.

Providence Health Services-- Thank you for your incredibly generous donation to our family. You have blessed us immensely, not only financially, but also by taking such good care of my mom.

Amber G-- Thank you for bundling up during the freezing months in Montana to walk with me, so I could verbally process to you. Thank you for never judging me and for speaking honestly, as a friend. Thank you for never putting on a face-- I appreciate your wisdom and genuine spirit.

Scott-- Thank you for being an example of passion and dedication. Thank you for approaching all that you do with enthusiasm. Thank you for encouraging me when I needed it.

Valerie-- Thank you, first of all, for sharing your story with 40+ young women who are wading through what it looks like to be in a godly relationship. Thank you also for continually taking time out of your schedule to share insights freely, with care and grace.

Jeruscha-- Thank you for showing me what 'speaking the truth in love' looks like. Thank you for your brutal honesty and your dedication to always having 'roomie time.' Thank you for loving painting your nails as much as I do :)

Doug-- Thanks for always being a humorous presence with your silly antics and accents. Thank you for your heart that so deeply desires God. It has been a testimony to me.

Rod-- Thank you for living life to the fullest all the time. Thank you for being incredibly firm in your faith and always stopping to make time for conversation. Thank you for calling me "BERRY!" and for your explosive laughter.

Amanda-- Thank you for laundry room conversations turned into friendship. Thank you for faithfully skyping with me and always making me a priority. Thank you for boldly declaring who you are and for being a testimony of a changed life.

Jen Bester-- Where do I begin?! Thank you for entrusting your sweet and precious babies into my care while I lived in Montana. Thank you for always seeking out intentional conversation even when you had dozens of other pressing matters. Thank you for emulating "people over projects." Your mothering is gentle and loving-- I learned so much just from watching you interact with your children.

Mom-- Thank you for approaching a grim diagnosis with a positive attitude. Thank you for making the nurses smile. Thank you for having a heart the size of Texas and for loving all those that you meet.

Dad-- Thank you for doing all of your work with excellence. Thank you for being honest. And thank you for being a faithful example of someone who is in the word daily. You might not know it, but I notice it and it has been an example to me since I was a child.

Amy-- Although we possibly haven't ever verbally spoken, thank you for writing honestly in your blog. Thank you for not glossing over the 'tough' issues, but for addressing them with grace and biblical truth. I have gained so much insight just from browsing your blog.

Jade-- Thank you for having a huge heart and giving everything you have away. You are a joy giver. Thank you for remaining humble and for initiating a friendship when it would have been easier to walk away. Your gentleness and steadfast heart are an example of what it looks like to be 'rooted' in Him.

Christy-- I could write an essay... thank you for always looking out for your baby sis-- for caring about me above yourself. Thank you for never judging me when I come to you with my un-edited thoughts. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and insight day in and day out. Thank you for being an example of a heart that follows God even in hardship and discomfort. You are an inspiration. I love you. 

Julie-- How long has it been? 15 years? Thanks for always thinking critically and keeping a sense of humor. You've always been available when I just needed a place to crash and hang out. You are massively talented. I am so excited for you and all that God is doing.

Alexis-- Thank you for having a beautiful, sensitive heart and for never being ashamed of your true emotion. You are a beautiful, wise little girl. You live with such beauty and innocence and you've taught me so much of what it looks like to have a childlike faith.

Emily-- You are confident and strong. At 7 years old you walk in more understanding of who you are than many 70 year olds.Thank you for being firm and uncompromising in the truth. Your independence and confidence are a delight to see as you grow. Thanks for sharing your life and being real about whatever is on your mind.

Jen Smith-- Your pure heart and love for our Father is a blessing and a testimony. Through hardship you have remained steadfast. You are honest, joyful and wise. Thank you for investing in me and valuing our friendship. You are a treasure. 

Mikala- Thank you for being honest and purposeful. I love how our friendship formed so naturally and how wise you are. Thank you for sharing your life and for being such a great friend-- I will miss you when we part ways. 

Cassy-- Thank you for being a joyful presence in my life. Thank you for laughter and genuine care. Thank you for supporting and believing in me. You are a gem and I am blessed by you. 

Cecilee-- I think about you often and every time I am just filled with gratitude. Your joy, boldness and honesty floor me. I love that you know who you are and are not ashamed to express that. Thank you for walking in confidence and for being so kind to me. Your friendship is treasured and you are a wise woman. I know that our Father is pleased with your pure heart. 

To friends near and far-- Thank you for always asking how my mom is. You don't know what your kind words, thoughts and prayers mean to us. Thank you for taking time out of your day to intercede for us. That is perhaps one of the most beautiful displays of the body of Christ that I have ever seen. It touches my heart.

 

Be Gentle, Dear Heart

So I started out this year aware that it was going to be a year of both letting go of my own expectations and stepping out in courage.

 And let me just tell ya, when God gives you words like that, He comes through. What I didn't realize was that perhaps it was also going to be a year where I learn how to let go of expectations that I place upon myself and learn to be gentle with myself.

I am so hard on myself. I have learned to be more gracious, and yet I find myself wondering if I 'make the cut' often. Its stupid. Who actually 'makes the cut'? Not any living, breathing human that I know (besides Jesus, of course).  

We all fall short every single day.

Why is that such a hard truth to embrace? I think somewhere deep down we still feel if we 'try a little harder' we can reach that level of charm, wit, humor, kindness, understanding and ultimately, perfection, that we're striving for. Where did that idea come from? I would imagine it came from the fall, because since the dawn of time humans have been striving to be 'good enough' to make it on their own.

Let me tell you friends, if 'making the cut' or being 'good enough' or better than you were yesterday or *gasp* perfect, is your goal, you will be disappointed every time. Our efforts are not enough. We're flawed and broken and weak. We're seeking truth and we're just plain messy.

And God is not shocked by that. He's really not. He sees us in the mess and He brushes off our skinned knees, picks us up and whispers "I love you still. Always. Forever."

I've been walking around in a lot of comparison lately. And its unhealthy. And its detrimental, and it makes Him-- the One who I am ultimately trying to serve, sad. So I guess I am slowly learning how to live with messy. I am learning how to live accepting that I am broken. Flawed. Messy. Ungraceful. Irritable, and often not like Jesus.

And my challenge is this: do likewise. Ask God to give you His perspective-- it might be a lot different than the one you've been walking around in. And its so refreshing. It is peace. Hope. Joy.

My mentor told me last week that we often understand salvation and the idea that we're saved by grace, but we add stipulations: '...but I have to pray for six people a day to please God.' '...but I have to never be angry to please God.' She reminded me that God is pleased with us because of our faith and belief in Him. Period.

John 6 records Jesus speaking with the crowd at Capernaum, and in verses 28-29  Jesus answers their question-- "Then they said to Him, 'What must we do, to be doing the work of God?' Jesus answered them, 'This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent.'  

WHAATT?! I know, pretty cool.

So my friends, please, be gentle with yourselves. Remember who you are in Christ and walk in confidence, knowing that your faith pleases Him.

Snow Control... or is it Snow Patrol...??

The Northwest is experiencing a massive snowstorm... at least, massive for us. We've got close to a foot of snow and it doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. The forecast says that its supposed to snow over the rest of the weekend. Its been snowing steadily for about a day and a half and its starting to pile up.

Here is a glimpse of our 2014 snow storm:

 

We have these snow storms every few years. The last one in Oregon was in 2008, we got about 16 inches of snow:

It seems like people either love or hate the snow. The Californian's here at school tend to be on the latter end-- they're not huge fans of the white, powdery substance that falls from the sky. And yet, here it is.

Unavoidable.

Uncontrollable.

I've been thinking over the past two days about the implications of snow. I can make anything philisophical, guys. But really, I feel like snow is a tangible reminder of the fact that we are in control of so little in our lives. Sometimes we like to pretend like we're in control, but the truth is, I cannot make the snow start or stop any more than I could control a wild tiger. It comes as God ordains, and no amount of disdain or delight can control when it comes, in what capacity and where it falls.

I control so little.

That is a humbling thought.

I do not control the sun, and yet it rises faithfully each morning. I do not control the trees, and yet they grow, strong and tall. I do not control when the snow starts and stops. I am not in control. This truth has become evident in my life over the past couple of years, as virtually nothing has gone the way that I expected.

Who envisions cancer?

Who thinks that they're going to take two years off of college to travel and do missions?

Who imagines making the most unlikely friendships?

Not anyone I know. And yet, they're reality. And through the surprise blessings and the unplanned hardships, I remember that little me controls so little. And I am humbled. And in that, I look not to myself, but to my Creator-- I look to the author and perfecter of my faith, realizing that He is in control. He is not in heaven wringing his hands and covering His eyes, horrified by events that are unexpected through human eyes.

He remains faithful. His character is constant, and He is in control. That doesn't make the hard times easier, but it does bring hope, knowing that we are not alone. We are not forgotten. We can rest knowing that our Father is more than able. 

So today I am humbled, in awe and I am reminded that sometimes the unexpected comes with blessings. And the bumps in the road which are uncontrollable aren't scary to Him. There is peace in His presence.

But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹ Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

³⁴ “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Matthew 6:30-34