As someone who has struggled with general anxiety and a propensity to 'over-commit' for most of my life, I've learned to develop some self-care habits. This looks a little different for each person, but I've noticed there are a few common threads that a large majority of society can relate to, as far as things that bring refreshment and peace to a weary heart. I wanted to share some of my insights with you today, in hopes that, as a society we can truly become peaceful, joyful and refreshed individuals who aren't frantically running a million miles an hour, burning ourselves (and probably those around us) out.
'Rest' is a difficult concept for many. We're a society of 'doers' and we've been taught that our productivity is of utmost importance, because, quite frankly, that is where many gain their identity. For those that consider themselves Christians, rest, sabbath rest is in the Bible. God rested after creating the world and mankind. He didn't need to rest-- He is GOD, after all. He rested as an example to follow. Sabbath rest teaches us that the world continues to spin even when we're not doing anything-- God doesn't need our help. That should bring comfort.
"Self- care" is one of those phrases that seems to have made it's way into our lingo in the last decade or so, but I'm sure glad it did. These 'self care' tactics are ones I've found most helpful in my life:
Put down the phone (or ipad, laptop etc.)
I know, I cringe at this one too. We're a tech society and we have become dependent on our devices. Right now, I'm typing on my laptop, and my phone is to the left of me. Life feels a little more vulnerable, and I feel a little less control when I don't have my phone. But research has shown the negative effects of extended amounts of screen time... Put it down. You'll feel more centered, level-headed and more in touch with the world around you (ironic huh... feeling more in touch when we put our devices down...)
Get outdoors
Maybe that means camping, hiking or boating. Or maybe it's just something simple like taking a walk around the block or reading in the sunshine. I cannot tell you the number of times I've been worn out from battles I was fighting in my mind and I stepped outdoors, and for a few brief moments, my anxieties melted away and I was refreshed. Maybe it's the smell of the outdoor air, or the vitamin D, or just the fact that we were created to spend a whole lot more time outdoors than we do... but there is something that changes in our bodies and minds when we spend just a few minutes embracing creation in all of it's glory.
Practice saying 'no'
I am admittedly bad at this, but I have improved drastically over the past few years. This goes back to the concept of Sabbath rest. The world will not implode if we stop producing for a while. Seriously, try it. We are a worn out society because we feel unable, or unwilling to say 'no' to anything, for fear that we might miss out, that we'll let someone down, or that we'll be viewed as boring. I've said 'no' a few times in my life, and ya know, I was always glad I set aside time to just 'rest' and 'be.' I wasn't focused on 'doing' or 'producing', I was focused on being present, and it brought deep refreshment to my soul.
Find your rhythm
Let me unpack this a bit... each person has a different capacity and different needs. Some people have a large capacity and need to stay busier (notice I didn't say busy...) than others. Some have a smaller capacity and need significant 'down time' to be healthy. I am kind of middle of the road. I've realized that on the weekends, I need a plan. If I go into the weekend with nothing on the agenda I find myself bored, anxious and moody. On the other end, if I go in with a 'filled to the brim, busy-every-second weekend' I find myself anxious, moody, resentful and weary. Neither is good. I have found that my sweet spot is having one or two medium sized commitments each weekend. Maybe that looks like tackling a house project on Saturday and going to church and small group on Sunday. It varies, but the concept works. Find your rhythm.
Practice mindfulness
I get that this sounds very modern and 'new age-y', but there is something that happens biologically and mentally when we stop to focus on our breathing for a while. When we focus on taking deep breaths in and out and learn to simply focus on our current circumstances-- the chair beneath us, the air on our skin, the breath going in and out of our lungs. One resource I've found particularly helpful is headspace-- it's just a mindfulness app that leads you through 10 minute sessions of practicing 'being'. I've always come away calmer afterward. They can be found here: https://www.headspace.com/
Find your tribe
These are your people. The ones that know all about you and love you anyway. Some folks are more prone to 'verbally processing' than others, but regardless, having a few people in your inner circle wards off loneliness, shame and fear that often rears it's head in the silence and isolation of our own minds and hearts. These people support and speak truth when you need it. They are safe people.
Pray
I get that this sounds very 'Christian-y' and might not appeal to all. That's fine. But I've found in my own life that praying-- being completely honest with God about where I'm at, my fears, anxieties, joys, victories, hardships and everything in between has brought deep peace, even to situations that didn't have resolve. It brings perspective that we often lack on our own. Not to mention there are a ton of verses in the Bible that talk about praying and the power it possesses, but that is another post for another time. :)
There are dozens more ways to practice self-care, but these are some of the ones I've found most effective in my life.
What self care practices have you found most helpful?
