Boy, this is an incredible time of year. People seem just a little nicer, just a little more patient and just a little kinder. It is nice to be a recipient of that, even if it is only a facade.

I do love Christmas time. There is a sort of wonder in the air. I love the songs, the smell of pine needles and cinnamon, and mostly, I love gifts. But not just the kind of gifts that you wrap up with a nice bow and place under the tree, but moreover, I love the gift of the Savior, born in Bethlehem all those years ago. For that, my life is eternally changed.

This Christmas break has been so busy, and yet so rewarding. I have had the chance to spend time with so many that I don't get to see often enough, and I have been able to relax, and to try to pick out just the right gift that I think will peak someone's fancy. Needless to say, I have loved my break. And I really feel that it is more than just the fact that it is Christmas time. I really think God is doing a work. Now THAT is exciting stuff!

I sit here, going about my daily activities, and God is all the while faithfully working. Sometimes the process seems so painfully slow that I don't notice at all, other times, I do notice, and during those times, the excitement kicks in. I love having the joy of knowing that, as Max Lucado would say, 'Jesus loves me just the way I am, but he refuses to leave me like that, he desires that I become just like Jesus.' 

Something refreshing and important that God has been showing me is that my relationship with Him does not consist solely of reading the Bible, singing praises and praying. These are all important and essential components of our faith, but they are not the only components. Each activity, word, deed, attitude and action is a form of worship, or something that detracts from out relationship with God. If we are continually mindful of Him throughout our day, not just when we sit down to spend time with Him, our day is lived so much more for His glory.

May we be mindful of Him during this Christmas season, and may you grow in your knowledge of Him.

Here and Now

It's so easy to write, and pour out my heart when I am discouraged. But sometimes I miss the opportunity when things are good. So I thought I would remember the good times in writing as well. Today is a good day. Actually, this whole week has been pretty good. I have been able to connect with some friends that I don't talk to a lot, and I have not felt overly stressed, which is always a plus!

And I have been thinking about something that my health teacher talked about in class today. She said that if we focus on this very moment, not on the previous moment, or the next moment, but this moment in time, we have very little stress or anxiety. This is true. Right now is all that is guaranteed. And this is our life. NOW. And our life is not in the past or in the future. What a novel thought. It's not a new one, but an often ignored one. You know the saying, 'right now is a gift, that's why it's called the present!' Well as cheezy as it sounds, it's the truth! That thought is a huge relief.

So today and this week, I chose to remember to live in the here and now, and to breathe. Enjoy the present!

Thankfulness

This is cliche, but in a good way. November is the season of thankfulness, and I thought I would jump on the bandwagon and share some things I am thankful for. There are many things that I have to be grateful for, and I've been more aware of my blessings recently.

Here are some of the biggest blessings in my life:

The ability and funds to get an education.
Love and support from my parents and sister.
Laughter.
My cat.
My sister who always makes time for me.
Salvation.
Lots of fun, encouraging friends.
The ability to read.
Good movies.
Hot Chocolate.
CHOCOLATE in general.
Sunshine.
Fall Leaves.
Snow.
Warm blankets.
Flowers.
God.
Traveling.

I could go on and on. But these are some of the things I am most grateful for this 'holiday' season.

** I do not like the term Holiday. Someone referred to Thanksgiving as 'the holiday' today. I was like... 'you mean thanksgiving??' (I didn't really say that.) Since when are Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years called, 'the holidays??' I refer to them as 'the holidays' sometimes, when referring to all of them. But I like to use their names :)

Have a blessed Thanksgiving!!

Sometimes

My head hurts, and I am contemplating many things. Sometimes life just does not make sense. Sometimes its just hard, and I don't know why. Sometimes I wish, by the waving of a magic wand, or the snapping of my fingers I could change my own, or another's suffering. Sometimes I wish I could be more confident in my own abilities instead of slipping so often. Sometimes, I just wish that I could tell the future, and see what it is that this crazy thing called 'life' holds. Sometimes.

There are so many emotions running through me right now. It is odd that someone can feel a plethora of emotions at any one time. And yet, it happens to me, often. There is frustration, thankfulness, confusion and probably a hundred other emotions that I feel.

Sometimes I cry out to God and ask why I am suffering the way I am. Why my life has to be so hard and inconvenient in the moment. Sometimes I just want God to answer me, and explain everything that is going on. And yet, often there is not an explanation. I so often act as though I am entitled to one.

Sometimes these moments come because of my own doing, sometimes they come simply because this world is not a perfect place. And hurt and frustration comes in all forms. Some problems are bigger than others, and some need more attention than others. Sometimes the thing that is bothering me is only a problem because it is an inconvenience to my life.

Sometimes my heart breaks for others. I so wish it were in my power to take away any suffering that they face. I want to cry with them, and tell them it will be okay, and offer just the perfect words, that will somehow magically make their pain dissolve. It is excruciating to see other people suffer, as well as to be powerless to change their situation.

I notice that in situations like that I jump in with words, with advice, when often a listening ear is simply what is needed. I don't need to try to be superwoman, and fix the worlds problems. Often, a caring heart, and listening ear speaks louder than me actually saying anything. I know because, when I am hurting, I do not want people to tell me what they think the source of my suffering is. I don't want them to try and make things better by offering some empty words. And I do not want them to act as though they need to solve my problems. I simply want someone to sit down, hold my hand and listen. I want them to cry with me, and be sympathetic to my situation.

Sometimes things do not go according to plan. Sometimes I feel like giving up on school. Sometimes the load that I am carrying seems like too much, and the weight of a single flippant comment could be enough to bring me down. And yet, somehow, each time that I think 'this is the day that I am going to fall beneath all of this weight' I get up, I go to school, I go to work, and I make it through the day, still standing. Sometimes I am stronger than I realize, through His power.

The following lyrics and quotes sum up much of what I am trying to say in this post. They touched me, and I hope they offer encouragement to others:

“I hear religious minded people say all the time with good intentions. ‘God will never place a burden on you so heavy that  you cannot possibly carry it.’
Really?
My experience is that God will place a burden on you so heavy that you cannot possibly carry it alone. He will break your back and your will. He will buckle your legs until you fall flat beneath the crushing weight of your load. All the while He will walk beside you waiting for you to come to the point where you must depend on Him.
‘My power is made perfect in your weakness,’ He says, as we strain under our burden.
Whatever the burden, it might indeed get worse, but know this-God is faithful. And while we change and get old, He does not. When we get weaker, He remains strong. And in our weakness and humility, He offers us true, lasting, transforming, and undeserved grace.”

-Greg Lucas

"You can spend your whole life buildin'

Something from nothin

One storm can come and blow it all away

Build it anyway

You can chase a dream

That seems so out of reach

And you know it might not ever come your way

Dream it anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good

And when I pray

It doesn't always turn out like I think it should

But I do it anyway

I do it anyway

This worlds gone crazy

And it's hard to believe

That tomorrow will be better than today

Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all YOUR heart

For all the right reasons

And in a moment they can choose to walk away

love em anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good

And when I pray

It doesn't always turn out like I think it should

But I do it anyway

Yeah I do it anyway, yeah,

You can pour your soul out singin'

A song you believe in

That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang

Sing it anyway

Yeah sing it anyway, yeah, yeah

I sing

I dream

I love anyway, yeah."

 -Do it Anyway (Martina McBride)

Another thing that I remembered recently were some words that I heard Alyssa Barlow, from the Band 'BarlowGirl' say. She was talking about the song, 'This is not Forever.' Here are her words:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrarTIsT24s&feature=related

Please watch the whole thing. It is very worth it. These are the words that stuck out to me 'Alyssa, I'm not going to take you out of this situation, I'm going to take you through it.'

Those are words that I need to hear, often.

A childlike faith, in real life.

I was listening to a podcast today, from Solid Rock church. Great church, by the way. The teaching was taken from 1 Samuel 13 (I think!) It was talking about how the Philistines and Israelites were preparing to go to war with each other.

The passage says in verse 5: 'The Philistines assembled to fight Israel, with three thousand chariots, six thousand charioteers, and soldiers as numerous as the sand on the seashore.' The italics are mine.

Later, in chapter 14, verse 2, it goes on to say: 'Saul (the king of Israel) was staying on the outskirts of Gibeah under a pomegranate tree in Migron. With him were about 600 men...'

You get the picture.

These dudes are WAY outnumbered. Its 600 men against an army 'as numerous as the sand on the seashore.' I would be shaking in my boots... or my flip flops.

However, the story is not over. Saul was unrighteous, and an ungodly man. But his son, Jonathan loved and trusted the Lord. Jonathan was probably rather young here, maybe a teen. Its not known exactly, but he was young, passionate and full of energy.  

This is Jonathan's response:

"Jonathan said to his armor bearer, '...Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few.'" WOW! That response blows me away. What a man full of faith. He did not doubt God, even in the midst of great strife.

The speaker of the podcast mentioned how there was more faith in those thirteen words, than in many Christians entire lives. I would have to agree.

Jonathan, a young, teenage boy, trusted God. Despite the fact that, humanly speaking, the odds were against the army of Israel, despite the fact that many did not trust God, despite the fact that his own father was a poor ruler, and selfish leader. Jonathan was full of faith... and with great reason. The Lord had never left him, and He knew that his life was not his own, but rather, it belonged to God.

Here is the rest of the story: "When all the Israelites who had hidden in the hill country of Ephraim heard the Philistines were on the run, they joined the battle in hot pursuit. So the Lord rescued Israel that day, and the battle moved on beyond Beth Aven." (14: 22-23.)

The more I read and think about the words of scripture, the more obvious it becomes; God blesses those with great faith. He blesses those who do not doubt, even when others are, even when it would be the easiest thing to do.

Think of how David defeated Goliath, the giant with a few small stones.

Remember how Abraham obeyed God when he told him to sacrifice his only son. There is no account of Abraham hesitating, or arguing with God. And in the end, God spared his son, because, in the words of God, from Genesis 22, verse 12: "Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son." Of course God knew Abraham's faith, but now Abraham knew, too, just how deep his faith was.

Think of Joseph. He became second in command in Egypt, and never wavered in his faith. He fled temptation and served prison time because of it. He was reunited with his family, and continued to worship God.

There are dozens of others I could mention. These men (and women... such as Ruth and Mary) were not spared from hardship... many of them had incredibly difficult lives, but that did not hinder their faith. They believed, in spite of the hardship in their lives. They believed, because God had always been true to His word, and continued, throughout their lives, to be faithful. And, the good news is, He is the same God today, as he was at the dawn of time. The same faithful God that was evident in the aforementioned  lives. He continues to keep his promises. He loves us.

Oh, to have a childlike faith.

Freedom

When something changes, it is usually a slow process... much like aging. You don't really notice things changing, while its happening, but you look back, and everything is different. It always blows me away. Being drug through the mud and mire seems too much to bare at the time. But then I realize, it really wasn't as bad as I made it out to be. And I gained so much from the experience. But I digress...

Sometimes you don't even realize that that little green monster called jealousy, envy, or bitterness is there. He hides well. But he does rear his ugly head from time to time, and threaten our relationships and health. Even though he hides well, he affects ones life dramatically. Its so hard to have growing, productive relationships when he is present.

 He is also a stubborn one.

Bitterness is a hard one to get rid of. I wish I could wave a wand and rid the world of bitterness. But I can't. It is present in more lives than we might care to admit. I know it was in mine. And I would like to say, I am glad that he is gone. Although we're all susceptible, we don't all want to admit it. Its not something that we can get rid of with will power. Bummer, I know.  But it is something that CAN be healed. By none other than the Master Healer. Again, its a p-r-o-c-e-s-s. But we were meant to live in freedom in Christ. Only through Him can we be saved. We have to let Him change us. God does not force himself upon people. He wants to heal. Let Him heal.

Live in FREEDOM!

Differences

It dawned on me today. Today is the first day I have really realized and thought about it. But I am sure glad that I did. 

The older we get, the less our differences seem to matter. Its true.

When you're a child, differences matter almost more than life itself. If you don't play with the same toys, or watch the same videos, or know the same songs, its hard to relate. Many people tend to flock toward those that are similar to them in regards to age, interests, politics, religion, etc. This is true for children as well as for adults. But I just realized that differences don't seem as 'bad' anymore. They almost seem like a treasure. Like a breath of fresh air. 

 

Granted, differences are the cause of many arguments and tension, but variety is also the spice of life. Once I got past my pride, and engaged in conversation with people I would normally avoid, I realized just how fun they are, and what used to come off as an annoyance I could now see as a treasure. You begin to see the unique things that individuals have to offer, you begin to appreciate their eccentric qualities and realize their worth. It is how its supposed to be.

I love the realities and revelations that come with time. Grudges, hurt feelings, and misunderstandings get peeled away, and we see the treasure of a person that we had been missing the whole time! I feel as though it is a tiny glimpse into the joy and unity we can and should have as the body.

The illustration of the human body is perfect. The hand works with the fingers to grasp things. The torso works with the hip bones to enable us to twist. And so on. That is exactly the same with the spiritual body. We are all different, but all equal. 

How beautiful when we can see past differences, and instead, find joy in the things that make each other unique! 

Societies take: "Dream Big"

There are so many things that I want to be. Society tells us to 'dream big.' And I commend that statement, but what if my 'big dream' is different than what people tell me it should be? What if my big dreams aren't to climb Mt. Everest, or to become a millionaire, or to star in a movie? What if my big dreams are mediocre dreams to someone else? Weren't we all made with different hearts, passions and goals for a reason? 

We cannot all be CEO's or 'stars.' But we can all strive for something, and work ceaselessly toward that goal. The thing is, 'dream big,' is such a vague statement. What does that mean? Do we ever define it for our children? It is kind of unspoken, but we all know what it means. Strive for excellence and do something great in your life. 

It seems to me, while it is a worthy goal to 'dream big,' we need to change our philosophy of what that means. My big dreams are not the same as many. But they are no less relevant. I dream for so many things, but none of them are to become famous, or to be the best cook or anything of that nature. Mine may seem simple to some. But to me, they are everything.

We were wired to dream, to plan and to achieve and conquer. But we were not wired to be clones of one another. Our dreams are placed inside of each of us for a specific purpose. If everyone were amazing musicians, where would our doctors be? If everyone were teachers, where would our mailmen be? What if our dream is something that many achieve in life? What if it isn't all that 'unique?' Each dream, each profession, each calling is unique and special. We NEED mothers and fathers, we need teachers, lawyers, engineers, scientists, doctors, policemen and business men and women. And we need so much more.

My dream is not better or worse than yours. It may be different, it may be unique, but it is the dream that was placed inside of me. It is the one that I hope to fulfill. In my tiny little corner of the universe, I hope to make a difference. And making a difference doesn't always require riches, or fame, or material possessions. Its just a willing heart, and determined soul. 

Dream YOUR dream, and dream it big!

excited??!

Its been a while since I have written on my blog. This may be for many reasons. But I felt like it was time to update it. Summer is blissful. I love it, but I am so excited for school to start back up pretty soon. There are so many new things that I am looking forward to this year.

I am going to a different campus of the same college,  and will be able to be involved in more things, and be a part of the college life a bit more. I am really, really excited for that! I have always wanted to be able to be involved in different groups, and activities on campus, and I finally get my chance! And there are a lot more classes offered, because its the biggest branch of the school, so scheduling classes was a breeze. Thank God. Usually it is a nightmare.

Anyhow, I am enjoying this last bit of summer, looking forward to visiting with friends, but really looking forward to fall term. Its weird to say, but I am excited for school, social life, work and everything! I'm telling you, this is the life. :)

I know with the changes taking place this year, there will also be heart changes as well. I am  hoping to be involved in Campus Crusade. I really think that will be an awesome experience. My hope is that I will enjoy my year, grow and thrive. But most of all, that I will learn more of who He is, and learn how to serve Him more faithfully.

Looking ahead joyfully,
Hannah

my job...

My blog looks a tad bit boring in my opinion. I don't like boring things. But alas, I must settle because it is not a big enough deal to fret myself over. 

This week has been incredibly busy so far, filled with family, friends, camping and lots of sunshine! It has truly been a great blessing! I have so many things I want to share... what a fantastic week its been! Its so funny too, because I feel like nearly every second of everyday this week has been filled. And I feel exhausted, but in a good way... 

Every time I look at my life I realize more and more just how blessed I am. I could write a book about it, but it would probably bore everyone. I just know that these blessings don't come by chance, they are indeed a gift.

In the busyness of life I stopped today to think of what is my job, my role on a day to day basis, and what are my goals? Well... my job is to be a loving example of our incredible Father. 

To speak kindness when I want to speak harsh words,

To see beauty where it might be hard to,

To love just a little more,

To be patient when its hardest,

and to forgive others when they hurt me, because I have been forgiven.

Those are hard things to live by, and not something that can be perfected on this side of heaven, but it seems like if we only remembered how important other people are, and how fleeting this life is, then we might live with more purpose. That is my prayer, that each of us live with a great purpose each day. Because we were bought and paid for at such a high price, how can we live any other way??

On that note, I'll leave you with a few shots from my great week so far!

Live, love, laugh.

My blog...

is in sad shape. It just takes me a long time to figure out how to make these things look good! And I am so tired right now... I will fix it soon, I just don't have the time or brain energy right now. But please excuse the look.

Can't get enough...

I love to read. I do it everyday, as often as I can. Mostly I read 'devotionals' of sorts, but I love many kinds of literature. I am kind of a nerd and also enjoy biographies. I love literature that gets me thinking and challenges me in some way. I like things that are inspirational and funny, deep and witty. 

I have become a little obsessed with books written by Donald Miller lately. I can't put them down. He writes with a passion and honesty that is not often seen among Christian authors. But he doesn't beat around the bush, or use the cliche language that is so prevalent in Christian literature today. I like that he is different. The way that he says things just resonates with me. I get it, and a little light bulb goes on, the wheels start to turn, and by the end of the chapter I am in awe at the new way of thinking about whatever it is he may be saying.

Honestly, I have read A LOT of devotionals, daily reflections etc. about the Christian life, but none have stuck out to me quite so much as Donald Miller books. Maybe it is because I feel like I can relate to him. Its hard to explain. But I love the truths presented in his books. 

 'Searching for God Knows what' is the current one that I am reading. It is about how many people view God and how that view is often skewed. The previous one that I read was 'Blue Like Jazz,' also an excellent book. It was basically his thoughts on Christian Spirituality. Anyhow, I have gone on long enough. You get the picture. Check out one of these books, they're incredible!

Disclaimer:

** I am by no means saying that we should stop reading the Bible and start reading Don Miller books. The Bible is the absolute inspired, irreplaceable word of God. I truly believe that. But I also believe that God speaks through people, and sometimes the way that they say things just makes sense, and we see things through it in a new way. That is what I am trying to convey. But I am not saying that it is a replacement for God's Holy word.

I will leave you with a quote from 'Blue Like Jazz': 

"I am learning to believe better things. I am learning to believe that other people exist, that fashion is not truth; rather, Jesus is the most important figure in history, and the gospel is the most powerful force in the universe. I am learning not to be passionate about empty things, but to cultivate passion for Justice, grace, truth and communicate the idea that Jesus likes  people and even loves them."

photography

I'm just me

There comes a point in everyone's life where they have to become happy with who they are. They have to realize that they were not meant to be anybody else. I am at that point. There are so many great people in my life, so many fun, spontaneous, happy, spiritual, easy going, caring people that I know. And I so long to be like them. And yet I look at me, at who I am, my personality, and I am not them. I have some of the same characteristics, but I am far from being like them.

It's such a battle, really. Knowing that there are people that you want to be like, but also knowing that you were meant to be you. If everyone were alike, this world would be so boring. Variety really is the spice of life. And that is not an excuse to be unkind, or uncaring, but we each have our own character quirks. And that is a good thing.

I'm sure most people can think back and remember their childhood enthusiasm of who or what they were going to be when they 'grew up.' I wonder how many people achieved those innocent, passionate dreams. I have always loved singing and writing. I do both often, however I am far from spectacular at either one. It is so easy to look at others I know who are absolutely incredible singers, or phenomenal writers, and to wish I had a little bit of that talent. And if I spend too much time thinking about it, I become very discontent.

But there is something beautiful in being who you are. I was thinking the other day that if everybody's life stories looked the same, if everybody had the same personality, or dreams or priorities, that would be an incredibly boring world. The older I get the more I become alright with who I am, and the more I realize that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. As we all are. I am glad to know that. It's easy to get caught up in the wishing that we were someone else.

But simplicity is a beautiful thing.
Its like a childlike faith.

What do I know?

I was recently having some time with a good friend when she introduced me to the song “What do I know of Holy?” By Addison Road. This is no doubt one of the most touching and relevant songs I have heard. It spoke right to my heart.

It begins like this: 'I try to hear from heaven, but I talk the whole time, I think I made you too small...'

These words are so true in my life. It is so hard to hear God when I am talking constantly. I need to learn to rest in Him and be silent. I don't like silence. It feels kind of awkward to me, but it shouldn't. Those times when I am quiet for long enough for God to show me something, are amazing, but they don't happen often enough.

The song continues, "Are you fire, are you fury? Are you sacred, are you beautiful?"

Oh to know God! To see his face, how beautiful would that be?! I realize more and more just how little I know of God. He is so above my understanding and comprehension, but even the smallest glimpse of him can humble me so much. I know that he is big beyond anything I can begin to comprehend. But those times that I see him intervene, that I see him work, I get just a tiny, tiny glimpse of that greatness.

It reminds me of space. We cannot comprehend just how big, and beautiful and never ending space is. But we know its true. We have telescopes that help us see vast distances, but out human brains have a hard time comprehending something that large. So it is with God.

I love how Kate Gosselin puts it in her book, "Multiple Blessings,"

" 'Mommy, can you fill up my cuppy?' I must hear that request a hundred times a day as a little outstretched arm holds up a brightly colored sippy cup. It makes me wonder if that is how God sees me sometimes, like a needy child constantly asking Him to please fill up my cup. "

Beautifully said.

Finals week, graudations, and our lives...

chaotic. That about describes it. There is always a rush at the end of the term to get everything turned in, to study hard for finals and to finish strong... but sometimes motivation takes a vacation. This whole week I have had absolutely no motivation whatsoever. Then today I realized I better get going on my research paper... so I went. And now here I am, not doing my research paper. It's break time. :)

Yes there are headaches, stress filled days and late nights, but that is all part of the experience. I am glad its almost summer though! Breaks are always welcome! Anyhow, finals week is next week, and then I'm done!

I went to my high schools graduation last night. class of 2010. They all looked radiant. That class is a beautiful group of people, and I know they're going to do great things. They have big plans, and great hearts.

Graduations are such a great time. Family comes together to celebrate your accomplishments, and it is a time that won't be forgotten. Of course grad night is amazing as well! The whole thing just seems so beautiful, and yet there are good byes to be said as well. It is the closing of ones elementary, middle school and high school years and the opening of whatever may come next. There is a bittersweet aspect for sure. I guess that is like many things. I've heard it said that life begins after graduation, and I totally disagree with that. What about the first 18 years? Don't those count?? Life has already started, and although it is changing, life definitely does not begin after graduation. Life is always going. There are many chapter ends, and beginnings in life. Graduation is simply one chapter close. But it is also the beginning of another exciting chapter!

Life is a story, and its a page turner... you never know what is going to happen next. There are chapters that make you cry, there are chapter that make you laugh. Some chapters present new challenges and lessons, other bring joy, while still others bring heartache. It is a book that is exciting, and yet we get to have choice in many aspects of how this book turns out. Other aspects, we don't get to choose.

That reminds me of a quote from 'Blue Like Jazz' that I read recently: "There are things you cannot understand and you must learn to live with this. Not only must you learn to live with this, you must learn to enjoy it." The context of this was the author mentioning the complexity of the trinity. But it goes for many aspects of life as well. 

Live, love, laugh.

These last few weeks...

have been so hard! Just when I think everything is calming down, and I might get a moment of sanity back, there are TONS more things getting piled on! I guess that is normal for the last few weeks of college, though. Wow! I am exhausted! And yet I've realized more these last several weeks than I have at any other time. Its like God is giving me a calm in the storm. Its a really peaceful feeling. I feel so close to God, and my friends, and I have done more praying these last few weeks than I usually do. Its cool, in a stressful way. :P

Everything is different, you know? I mean things change on a daily basis, and I can't see very far ahead. It's like I'm in a tunnel and can only see what is directly in front of me. I mean it's really just living day to day. I don't completely know my summer plans, and I have questions about the upcoming school year. But, as much as I never thought I would say this, it is peaceful, not having to try and fight for what comes next. Just resting in the peace that I know the one who holds the future, and He has created a much better story than I could. I remember hearing somewhere some talking about living in the moment. They said 'We live day by day, and sometimes hour by hour, and sometimes, minute by minute.' I'm sorry to whoever said that, but I give you the credit. It's a beautiful thought. And I am loving it!

profound yet simple

I was reading something today and it just really stuck out to me. It was talking about being present, 100%
wherever you are. It is simple, but important. I heard it called "Be all there." What a great concept, and
something that I am trying to live by. Be ALL there.

A great Book...

Recently, I've been trying to do more reading. I generally like reading, but sometimes it gets squeezed out because of other commitments. But summer is in four weeks! Then I'll have lots of time. Anyhow, I got the book 'Blue Like Jazz' the other day, and have been reading a little bit every day. It is incredible. And it's not like a normal 'devotional.' This author is very real and honest. It is like talking to him in person, kind of. Needless to say, I highly recommend it. I've read a few things in it that really stick out as well.

One of these quotes seemed especially insightful:
"I believe that the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time."

That hit the nail on the head. It's something that I have been pondering ever since I read it. Another thing that he points out in the same chapter is the fact that he spends 95% of his time thinking about himself. And that many problems can't be fixed until we realize we are the problem, and we need to change ourselves. It sounds harsh, but it is an important concept. Sometimes people go around trying so hard to change others and they don't realize that they have flaws that need to be worked on first. We do not change people. They must want to change on their own.

I will continue reading this book, and highly recommend it!

Beach, busyness and blue skies

I know I always blog about how busy life is... ha ha I don't mean to bore people. This week has been significantly more busy than normal weeks. I am behind on math, and I have a ton of other things to complete. I don't mind it though, I mean I might dislike it at the moment, but I love having a fairly busy life, because I get bored just sitting around, and I'm not good at entertaining myself, so busyness is a good thing for me. Yet I've realized the more busy I become, the more I forget, and I can be so airheaded. I have forgotten things that I know and have been doing for a long time, and I have forgotten about plans. Aaaaghh! It's horrible, this forgetfulness. Maybe someday I'll get my sanity back.

Along with my duties this week, I have had the honor of being with some of the kids that I love so much! I absolutely love children, and it's been so awesome to get to spend time with some of the sweetest kids! So much fun, and so refreshing. Honestly, being with kids is one of my favorite things to do!! I have been blessed to know a lot of great families with kids and I am very close with them. I never tire of it. :)

I realize with this busyness as well that sometimes it creates agitated spirits, because there is a lot to do in a short amount of time. That brings out the worst in people, sometimes. I become more irritable and I don't like it. That is why it's so important for me to have those encouraging influences around me. I am a firm believer that even in the busyness of school and work, spending time with friends is just as important. We were made for community, we were made to gather together and share lives with others, and it is sacrificing so much to give up social ties for other commitments. I have even turned in a few assignments late because I chose to hang out with friends instead of finishing an assignment. Some might gasp, but for me it made all the difference. I figure, I won't do well in school if I don't have friends around, so why sacrifice even more?? I need people. We all do, to some extent.

I am also very blessed to have good, solid people, friends and relatives in my life, this helps so much. It helps to know that someone will have your back no matter what! 

Thus are my ramblings. ;P

Be blessed!

Some great times at the beach, with some great friends!

Help bring Dash and Chip home!

Hey All!
I have a request of you. Please take a moment to drop by the link below and prayerfully consider helping this great family bring their babies home!
http://bringinghomebabykeyser.blogspot.com/2010/04/be-missing-piece.html
Thanks!

Jumbled thoughts.... as usual

I want to write something inspirational, but alas nothing comes to me.
Ha ha.
Anyhow, I'll share a few thoughts that have encouraged me lately. I really don't have anything interesting to say, but I love quotes , so I thoughts I'd share a few :)

A great book, well worth reading is Elisabeth Elliot's 'Passion and Purity.' I am reading it now, and its great. Here are a few from her:
" Then turn the reigns over to God. Bring your will to Him. Will to obey Him, ask for his help. He will not do the obeying for you, but he will help you. Don't ask me how. He knows how, you'll see." (Pg 97)

Just as background information, Elisabeth Elliot was the wife of Missionary Jim Elliot. He was part of the group of fie men that journeyed down to Equador in the 50's and were killed by the Auca's. Some of the wives later went and lived with the tribe. They showed them love and witnessed to them, even though they had committed such a great offense against them. I cannot imagine the strength it would take to do that, but I admire them for it.

Another of my favorite quotes lately has been from CS Lewis. Brilliant man, amazing author.
"I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world."

Everyday blessings

I am so amazed at the everyday blessings present in my life. Sometimes I don't realize they're there. But they are. I revel in them. The safe trip to the beach, the good sleep at night, the fun time with friends, just to name a few. I am so blessed.

Pitock Mansion

What beauty surrounds me. I think I'll reflect on that a while.

Imperfection

It is Spring Break! Wahooo! Ha ha I feel so much freedom! Of course with that extra time comes a lot more thinking about the deeper things in life. Heck, I think about deep things often, but I guess I have been even more with this extra time on my hands.

Just today I was thinking about a sweet family I know, and thinking about how 'together' they have everything. They just seem to exude 'Jesus-ness' in every way. And honestly, I wished that I was like that. They seem so perfect. (Ironically I was thinking this while sweeping the kitchen floor...) Then God reminded me that He does not ask for perfect children. He asks for obedient, loving children. I do not need to be perfect. It has kind of been a struggle for me, for some time, feeling like I somehow need to be 'better' or 'more holy.' I often compare myself to others, thinking how 'good' they are, and much I would like to be like them.

I think playing the comparison game hurts God's heart. He did not make me to be someone else. He did not make you to be someone else. He made us to be who he wants us to be. And if we were prefect, we would have no need for God. In some ways, I'm grateful that I am not perfect.

My hair gets messed up (often). I spill things. I speed. I get distracted. I say mean things. I become lazy. I forget things. Our house is messy. I am selfish.

These are things that are true in my life, and they're not things that I am proud of, but they are realities. And some are trivial, while others are more important. But God does not get upset because of our flaws. He helps us. We learn, and grow. Hopefully, we become more like him.

It does make me happy to know I'm not perfect, because I serve a God who is, and that makes me appreciate his goodness all the more. Again, if I were perfect, I really wouldn't fit into this flawed place, would I?

We are called to be in the world, but not of it. But that doesn't mean we'll never mess up. We will. Let's just face it, WE ARE FLAWED! It's easier to admit it, then to live in denial.
But the good news is, that God does not leave us to fend for ourselves. He shows his love, and created a path for us to reach him, through his son, Jesus.

Thank you, God, for your unending love!

I seem to think at about a million thoughts a second. It gets tiring sometimes! I can't imagine what it must be like to be able to literally think nothing at any one moment. I hear it's possible, though I have never experienced it.

Today I laughed a ton with friends of all ages. It feels so great to get away from the busyness of life, and to forget about all of the responsibilities waiting when you get home, and to just have a great time with people that you love and that love you. It doesn't happen often enough. But I am so grateful for the chance to hang out with some incredible people today. I am truly blessed. I have been trying to laugh more, trying to love more and trying to become more laid back. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in time that I forget to live and enjoy the moment. Not everything is about time. Sometimes it's okay not to look at the clock. I'm trying to be alright with more spontaneity and trying to enjoy the little things in life. It is a good feeling to focus on the positives instead of the negatives. It's a choice, it really is. Along with that, I've been remembering that life is a gift, and in words that are much better than my own, this is it:

'I dare you to move
I dare you to move,
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened,
like today never happened before...'

So true, isn't it?! Live, love laugh. What a great motto.
A few other things that stick out to me (I am a very random thinker, bare with me!) are found in some great books. I love books, I can't get enough.
Trying to focus on living fully, going out of my comfort zone, and being alright with doing new things. It's scary, and sometimes things aren't going to work out the way we hoped. We are not called to live in fear, though. We are called to reach out, and get out of our comfort zones. Its easy to be scared, and I am, often. It's hard, and scary, but we are never alone. What a great realization!

"We fear saying the wrong thing or using the wrong tone or acting the wrong way. So rather than do it incorrectly, we do nothing at all. Aren't we glad Jesus didn't make the same mistake? If your fear of doing the wrong thing prevents you from doing anything, keep in mind the perspective of the lepers of the world. The aren't picky. They aren't finicky. They are yearning for a godly touch. Jesus touched the untouchables of the world. Will you do the same?'
- Just Like Jesus, By Max Lucado

Too many times, fear has ruled, and I have suck back when I should have stepped out in confidence, trusting. I don't want fear to get the better of me. I think God wants me to ponder this for a while.

Life remains busy. It seems as though there is always something to get done. Yet I don't feel overwhelmed. Maybe i am in denial But I like to think that it is God giving me peace. :) What a great feeling it is! I mean really, I know if I really think about it there is nearly always something to be done. Laundry. Shopping. Bank. cleaning. Working. These are just a few of the things we do each day. Sadly oftentimes God gets sort of pushed to the 'back burner.' Because somehow it doesn't seem as essential to spend time with him on a regular basis. But that is faulty logic. It is important. And essential.

Of course... if I were a cat, my life would not be so busy. Ok I know, cheesy transition, but hey, it's not school, so I can do it! My cant is so lazy. She seriously sleeps for like 14.894 hours of the day. It was gorgeous outside, and she was lying on my bed when I left, and three hours later, still lying there! Oh how worry free it would be. I cannot imagine. Ha ha. She has such a good life. Spoiled little thing. She doesn't even know. But hey, it made me think the other day. I love my cat. I love her not because she has ever done any favors for me, or has somehow 'earned' my love, but I love her because she is my cat. Isn't that how it is with God's love toward us? He loves me because I am his, because he made me. It still mystifies me sometimes. I can't do anything to earn his love, I can't give him something he doesn't already have. But he loves me still. I am so grateful to know that. What an astounding and amazing thing! So I will continue to revel in God's goodness. And leave you with this:

“Yet I’ve learned that time alone with God is the most valuable available. Most important, I’ve learned that even Christians can fall into a life of excuses and complacency. The word of God calls us to action. Don’t be content to sit on the sidelines and watch. It’s the equivalent of disobedience. Don’t wait until tomorrow. Get up and in the game today.”
-Crystal Lewis

contentment

Love the mornings when the sun is shining! Sure does something great for the soul! 

Anyhow, onto what this post is supposed to be about. Contentment. It's a little bit of an intimidating word, isn't it?? I think it kind of is. Contentment is not something that come naturally to most people, myself included. It seems like if we just had that something else then we would be content, right? Yeah, sure. We trick ourselves into thinking that. But true contentment is not based off of material possessions or even one's place in life. Its an odd concept really.

I have just recently begun to experience true contentment. The kind that Paul talks about in Philippians. He says:

"...I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." (4:11-13 NIV)

Amazing stuff, isn't it?! I am convinced that Paul did not just wake up one morning and discover that he was content. It was a process, even for someone with as much zeal for God as Paul had. Many things are a process. They take time. So it is with contentment. It takes hard work sometimes and sometimes it hurts. But ultimately God is the one doing the work in our hearts. We have to give it all to Him though.

Contentment is not feeling happy all of the time, or putting a plastic smile on our faces. But, according to dictionary.com it is: 'the state of being contented; satisfaction; ease of mind.' (Thanks, dictionary.com  for telling me that it is the state of being contented...)I like the word satisfaction. It is being satisfied whether life is going great, or whether things are tough. It is knowing you'll be alright, and you will continue to go on, living life, praising God, even though things aren't always wonderful. It is a deeper trust in God.

Now, I am not here to boast on my contentment, because I am not there yet, and frankly, even if I was, it is God's working, not mine. It is a process, as I said. I am on the road, I am learning, but I have not reached the 'destination' of contentment, if there is one. Sometimes I think the journey is just as important, maybe more so than the destination. God seems to use the journey so often to change us and mold us more into his likeness. Sometimes there isn't a destination that we ever reach. Life is a growing process, a journey. Often times we don't fully reach contentment on this side of heaven. But it is good to know that God is doing a work in us. 

Contentment really is what God wants for us. It is a sort of peace that can't be explained. It is a trust in God. It really should be our striving, as we seek to be more like God. But we have to have a willing heart. We have to want to change. Now, I am not saying that God can't work in a hardened heart, because he does, often. But if we aren't focusing on Him, if we're just kind of halfway living for God, we're not as likely to experience a lot of growth. Relationship takes both sides investing in the other. He will never leave us, but we must desire the things of God. He will grow in us, if we truly want to know Him more. He wants nothing less for his children! 

It makes me feel good to know that God desires me to know Him more, and that He will and does help me to know him! I fail often times, and get scared. But I am glad that I serve a God of second chances. I serve a God of mercy. He is there, waiting to pick me back up when I fall.

Beauty

I LOVE photography! I find myself taking pictures all the time, and wanting to always capture those special moments on camera. Some people couldn't care less about photography, but I love it. I can't get enough of it! I've thought of being a photographer as a career, but I think I'm meant to do something else. Not sure. Anyhow, thought I would share some of my photos. They're not all fantastic, but I had fun taking them!

 

Belize, March 2009

Belize, early morning

Random, I know...

The pumpkin patch!

  

orchids

South Dakota (?)

Beach volleyball

These are just a few of the pictures I have taken over the years. I will continue to take pictures, and to document every occasion! I have never regretted it. There is something special about looking back at pictures and all the memories that come with them. :) I know the saying is true, a picture is worth a thousand words. There are so many fond memories, that sometimes fade with time, but looking at a single picture can bring it all back. Photography is a beautiful thing, and I am so grateful to be able to share in the beauty of this world, and to capture it on camera!

Having a childlike faith

 There is something so refreshing and beautiful about the faith of a child. It really should be our aim as Christians, to have that faith. 

Think about it, children believe things that adults don't believe, they often believe in santa, in leprechauns, in the tooth fairy. They believe these things because they are told that they're true, and they would have no reason not to believe it. They believe what mom and dad says is true. They trust those in authority. And children have such an imagination! They have imaginary friends, and pretend so often. It is not hard for them to believe in things that they can't see. How beautiful, to have such faith!

When we get older, we realize that some things we believe aren't very probable. We realize that Santa can't really fly through the air with reindeer and deliver presents to every child in one night. It is a nice idea, but unlikely. As its good to have a sense of reality, we also lose some aspects of that faith that used to be so innocent and real. We begin to question God's power, and ask 'can he really do that?!' Sometimes it becomes hard to believe in a being that we can't see. We become so legalistic that we doubt what we've always believed. But why? God's power has not diminished because of one's unbelief. He is still the same God as he has always been, he is just as powerful.

Children have so much to teach us, sometimes. They have no worries, they have no anxiety, they believe that their needs will be taken care of. Why do we lose this with age? There have been countless times that I have questioned if God really knew what he was doing, if I would have what I needed, and if I could really trust him with my life. Yet he has come through so many times! He has delivered me, and all the anxiousness that I had was for nothing. Oh to have the faith of a child.

God calls us to have faith like a child. A true, pure, unrestrained faith. They believe that God can do anything, because anything is possible in their minds. Shouldn't this remain true even as we get older? God can do anything, and he promises that if we have faith as small as a mustard seed, that awesome things can happen! 

Remember the faith, and the devotion of children, and let's strive to have that faith. Remember, what our father in heaven says, is true, and he can do all that we knew he could do when we were children! It is a beautiful faith. 

-Mark 10, Matthew 17:20

Technology.... and other ramblings

Needless to say, me and technology are not friends. In fact, we're enemies. It takes me so long to figure things out, because I want to make sure everything is right, before I finish. Anyhow, I have been trying to figure out this blogger thing for a while now. I know, it really shouldn't be that hard, but it is. Sigh. I suppose not everyone is gifted with knowing how technology works. If anyone has any advice on how blogger works, let me know! That would be greatly appreciated! Ha ha!
I guess it's good that i don't have a lot going on today, because i can sit here aimlessly in front of the computer, trying to figure this out... how I love Saturdays! Of course, I see homework later tonight, but hey might as well enjoy my time before I have to start working, right?!

Writing is joy for me, and a sort of therapy when I'm down. It just helps me to get my thoughts out, and process things that are going on. I write all the time, and I've been thinking about starting a blog for sometime now. So here I am. :) I always have a lot to say, but I'll try to keep my words contained, as I'm sure they could become quite boring if they're too long! Anyhow, I am very excited!