Identity

I am one of those typical 'bloggers' that reads about a million blogs and is always finding inspiration in odd places. Maybe I'm weird, but I always knew it. Anyhow, I was reading a blog the other day that talked about identity. And specifically, what one's identity was. This blogger was saying that her identity is, right now, that of a wife and mother. And it made me think. What is my identity? By that I mean, what is it that I identify myself with each day? What is it that I spend time on?

I realized that my identity is that of an employee and student. That is where my life is right now. Of course there are many facets to every life, but often that cannot be fully seen because I get lost in my roles as student and worker. Sometimes I wonder, if I sat down and just evaluated myself, would I be able to say much outside of, 'I go to school, I have a ridiculous amount of homework, and I love my jobs?' I don't know that I would be able to write an essay about who I am. I know inside who I am, but I find that when I am not working, or not in school or doing homework, I am bored. I feel like my place in life has been thrown off, and I don't know what to do with myself.

It is easy to associate ourselves with whatever role, job, or thing that fills our days. 'Oh I'm a taxi driver' or 'I'm a student' or 'I'm a volunteer.' These are the typical responses that we hear from one that we ask about who they are. But there is so much more. There always is. Yet I know that somehow these are the things that I let be my defining roles. Maybe that isn't bad, but it is important to keep things in perspective. I am not just a student and worker. I am also a daughter, a sister, a child of God, a photography lover, a cheese addict, and a people person.

Its really nice to know that we can be more than just one or two 'things' at a time. We are layered people, people of many facets. I am glad that we don't have just one role or place in life. But we are many things at once, and that makes us unique.

Live, love, laugh!

Do you ever have a nagging thought, or novel of thoughts that just continues to travel with you each day, until you finally get those thoughts out? I do, often. And this is one of those times. For whatever reason I have been thinking about acceptance and the longing in human hearts to be accepted and loved. What great lengths a person will go to in order to be loved. The desire to be accepted has caused friendships to wither, tension in the home, physical harm, and hours upon hours of internal turmoil amongst many. It is deeply rooted in each human, and it comes to expression in different ways.

I think of my desire to be accepted, and how much of a role that plays in my life everyday. It plays much too large of a role, often times. Some mornings I spend a ridiculous amount of time in front of my closet, trying to decide what to wear, or more time getting ready than is really logical. Its kind of narcissistic when I think about it... I don't like thinking about it too much, because it makes me feel selfish. Nevertheless, it is reality. And I wonder, why is this desire within us so strong? And why will some go to nearly any length to be accepted? Today's youth have been fed lie after lie about what creates value. And it is believed. Somewhere along the way, probably not long after the creation of the world, people started looking for things that would make them feel valuable. Notice I said feel. 

Is one valuable because of what the tag on their clothes reads, or because of how many creams they cover their face with? Or because of how many friends they have, or who those friends are? Many would say yes. Maybe not vocally, but through their actions, they would show that they believe that. Some days I look in the mirror several times within a half hour. I change my outfit, because something about it was just 'not quite right.' It is utter ridiculousness, and yet, it is not abnormal. I admire those who can walk into a crowded space, and feel completely comfortable in their own skin. They light up the room because of their love and confidence, not because of their clothes, face, or friends.

I hope somehow we can become confident in who we are, not because of what we have done, but because of what the Creator says. Why does the world have more say in our value than the one who created value?