When Brokenness Invades

"Portland, Oregon-- Air Quality at unhealthy levels due to smoke from wildfires. More than 875,000 acres are burning across the Northwest"

"Shoreham Airshow: 7 people killed in fighter jet crash, officials say"

"Molly Shattuck: Former ravens cheerleader sentenced to 48 weeks in jail for child sex abuse"

"Huggies: Company responds to Claim that Glass Shards were found in Baby Wipes Products"

"10 killed, thousands flee Philippines Typhoon"

"...Ashley Madison..."

Friends, my heart is heavy with the news headlines, taken directly from yahoo and facebook.

The older I get and the longer I use the internet, the more I am reminded of the brokenness of this world.

Whether it is through unavoidable natural disasters, or through really crappy and poor choices that are made, the world is crying out for help.

I find myself feeling burdened for the many traumas happening across the nation and around the world, and for those happening in my sphere of friends and acquaintances.

I don't know how to help or what to do, and yet, I know I cannot sit idly by as the world suffers and cries in agony at the pain of broken trust, sickness, abuse, the loss of loved ones, the fact that these websites even exist...

And right now, all I can do is pray. Pray hard and pray fervently for the hearts, the families involved. Because heart break is so, so painful and because I can't fix these problems.

The end of the story is not hopeless, I know that. But today my heart feels heavy as I realize and process through the immense brokenness that is this world, that is humans.

And I am reminded once again of why John 3:16 is so, so crucial.

We need a Savior.

My hope is that when you come to the end of yourself, and you realize that you have nothing left, you turn to Him. That you realize He is the healer of the brokenness, in this life and most certainly in the next.

He's there. And He's the One that is not afraid of brokenness. 

He's in the business of restoration. And He does it so well.

Turn to Him. 

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, your rod and your staff, the comfort me. Psalm 23

Not My Plan

Life is funny.

As I think back on my life, almost nothing big has gone according to [my] plan.

As a middle and high school student, I looked into my future and saw myself married, and working as a teacher by age 22 (I am still not married at age 24).

As a Senior in high school I saw myself going directly to four year University and getting my degree in Early Childhood Education (I went to Community College first and got my degree in Psychology).

As a Community College student I started to see myself not so much as a 'classroom' teacher but perhaps as a counselor, or psychologist. And I still saw myself married with a house or apartment by 23 (at the latest, I mean, c'mon, people!)

As a YWAM student, having graduated from Community College (which was never my plan), I saw myself traveling over the next few years and being a missionary in Costa Rica, working long term with YWAM (I have not traveled to Costa Rica or done any more 'missions' work since then).

As a University Student I knew I was not going to be a classroom teacher and I majored in Psychology, thinking I would work at a non-profit with low income families. I wanted to be a skills trainer, advocate and mentor. I also still saw myself married by, well, maybe 25, since the 22-23 age range was not happening... (I am now graduated, and a pre-school teacher...)

And I always saw both parents alive and healthy for many, many years. I never, ever thought that I would be one that lost a parent at far too young an age. My kids were going to have both of their grandparents to dote over them (I lost my mom to cancer in September of last year).

I certainly never imagined myself having so many opportunities to travel; never pictured myself as an R.A. on the best team I could have asked for; didn't see myself counseling at camp and gaining a community there; and I never thought that I could be content in singleness.

My life certainly has not gone according to my plan, but I am realizing, that perhaps it was never meant to. Perhaps the changes were a part of His plan and they keep me trusting Him. Perhaps, even in the tragedies (which he also grieves at), He is teaching me that while sometimes His ways don't make sense to this heart and mind, His ways are always good. Always pure. And always, always, somehow, someway, turn out for good somewhere.