Not My Plan

Life is funny.

As I think back on my life, almost nothing big has gone according to [my] plan.

As a middle and high school student, I looked into my future and saw myself married, and working as a teacher by age 22 (I am still not married at age 24).

As a Senior in high school I saw myself going directly to four year University and getting my degree in Early Childhood Education (I went to Community College first and got my degree in Psychology).

As a Community College student I started to see myself not so much as a 'classroom' teacher but perhaps as a counselor, or psychologist. And I still saw myself married with a house or apartment by 23 (at the latest, I mean, c'mon, people!)

As a YWAM student, having graduated from Community College (which was never my plan), I saw myself traveling over the next few years and being a missionary in Costa Rica, working long term with YWAM (I have not traveled to Costa Rica or done any more 'missions' work since then).

As a University Student I knew I was not going to be a classroom teacher and I majored in Psychology, thinking I would work at a non-profit with low income families. I wanted to be a skills trainer, advocate and mentor. I also still saw myself married by, well, maybe 25, since the 22-23 age range was not happening... (I am now graduated, and a pre-school teacher...)

And I always saw both parents alive and healthy for many, many years. I never, ever thought that I would be one that lost a parent at far too young an age. My kids were going to have both of their grandparents to dote over them (I lost my mom to cancer in September of last year).

I certainly never imagined myself having so many opportunities to travel; never pictured myself as an R.A. on the best team I could have asked for; didn't see myself counseling at camp and gaining a community there; and I never thought that I could be content in singleness.

My life certainly has not gone according to my plan, but I am realizing, that perhaps it was never meant to. Perhaps the changes were a part of His plan and they keep me trusting Him. Perhaps, even in the tragedies (which he also grieves at), He is teaching me that while sometimes His ways don't make sense to this heart and mind, His ways are always good. Always pure. And always, always, somehow, someway, turn out for good somewhere.