Today I read about a famous family - the biological dad has been in and out of prison on drug, alcohol and other such charges. This caused the mother, who now has her own family including two additional children with her current husband, to file a restraining order against biological dad because of his erratic and threatening behavior.
Before you judge me for ingesting trash, let me share what I noticed about these instances.
Both had something in common.
The perpetrator blamed the 'other'. The married man blamed his wife. If she had been more loving and had met his needs maybe he wouldn't have had an affair. And the guy with the restraining order blamed the biological mom for the reason that his relationship with his 10 year old son was strained.
What the actual hell?!
I reeled in disbelief. Is this really what our society has come to? An inability to take an honest look inward and admit fault and sin when it is clearly present? It seems we're more interested, as a society in saving face and covering for ourselves that we recklessly wound everyone around in an effort to not have to admit fault. It saddens and sickens me.
I'm preaching to the choir. If we're honest, we all do it. No one likes to admit wrongdoing. But it is imperative if we are going to live healthy lives and raise healthy children. Because not admitting fault leads to entitlement and entitlement creates the Brock Turner's of the world.
You know what's attractive and admirable, more than 'being right' and 'saving face'? Honesty. Integrity. Admitting fault. Humility. Gentleness.
This world doesn't give participation medals just for being present. And quite frankly, it doesn't matter if you are married to Cruella Devil - that never excuses infidelity. And blaming your baby mom for a strained relationship with your child when you've been reckless, irresponsible and a terrible example... It doesn't fly.
I'm not a mom yet, but I've spent a lot of time with kids. They are a treasure - each of them, but the moments I was most proud of my preschoolers was when they went out of their way to think of someone else. When they were kind and when they said sorry for hurting someone. I am convinced that if we can teach our children character and values above materialism and popularity, it will absolutely change the world.
So my plea to you, to the world and to myself is - don't be afraid of saying sorry when you mess up. It's a human reality. We all mess up. And humility looks good on you.
(By the way, for those that are Jesus followers - the ground at the cross is level. We are all equal at the foot of the cross. I also find it humorous and appropriate that the apostle Paul doesn't mince words when speaking to the church at Galatia about this subject):
