Ragamuffin

I don't usually advertise on my blog, but I just had to say that this book has honestly, been revolutionary in my life. It has really spoken to me, and has changed the way that I think about so many things. I highly recommend it.

As of late...

Life is funny you know?

Lately I've realized this mentality that has popped up in my thinking-- this flawed mentality. Its frustrating, because I realize that it is flawed, and yet, I have a hard time shaking it. The mentality is this: That somehow I'm not doing enough for the Kingdom here at home. That I am not being a good enough 'witness' because I haven't had lengthy conversations about Jesus with those who don't know Him, or nothing truly 'extraordinary' has happened since returning home.

I guess I always see God in the incredible, extraordinary things that happen from time to time, but I struggle to see him in the everyday, simple events. Yet, I KNOW that God loves our everyday lives. Simple things, He gets joy out of.

Truth of the matter is: 'Ministry' or whatever the heck you want to call it does NOT look the same at home as it did while I was overseas. Maybe its because many of those people didn't know at all about Jesus. I would venture to say that most people in the States, DO know. So often to for me, here, witness happens through relationship, through reminding people that they are loved and praying for them and just being a good friend. But even though I know that is true, this little lie pops up and tells me that unless I am speaking to them about Jesus, it won't matter.

That is a LIE! It is a big freaking lie. And yet I'm so quick to believe it sometimes. Now, knowing that isn't an excuse NOT to talk to people. Words are necessary sometimes, but actions HAVE to show love as well. Its a fine line, I think. The thing that does, however, encourage me in all of this is that God continually reminds me that I am His and that focusing on Him alone is most important, and through that our 'ministry' can come, but its not about 'ministry' its about Him.

So, here I am, being honest. Its hard, because I like to feel like everything is peachy, because, somehow that must mean that my relationship with God is stronger, or something, right?? Ha ha, what a joke. I know I'm not alone in all of this, and that encourages me, as well.

Couldn't have said it better than this:

Have a beautiful day, and embrace your uniqueness!

Home

They say 'Home is where the heart is.' I would have to agree with that statement, but its one that we say so glibly and move on, without really thinking about all that really means. I know for me, the definition of the word 'home' has changed drastically over the past year. Traveling will do that to you.

 I realized part way through my time in Montana that 'home' for me, is anywhere that I am, where God is with me and I am surrounded by friends and family. In that case, Montana is my home. Malaysia is my home. Belize is my home. Oregon is my home.

Home is not one, specific, individual place. Home is where I can be me, and be loved for all that I am and all that I am not. Home is where I have people that I love and adore, and that feel the same toward me. Home is where I can rest assured that friends are never far away, and laughter is present. Home is a safe place to rest my head. Home is wherever I go that God is with me. I love that 'home' is NOT just one place. I love that 'home' is the world. I am home.