Life is funny you know?
Lately I've realized this mentality that has popped up in my thinking-- this flawed mentality. Its frustrating, because I realize that it is flawed, and yet, I have a hard time shaking it. The mentality is this: That somehow I'm not doing enough for the Kingdom here at home. That I am not being a good enough 'witness' because I haven't had lengthy conversations about Jesus with those who don't know Him, or nothing truly 'extraordinary' has happened since returning home.
I guess I always see God in the incredible, extraordinary things that happen from time to time, but I struggle to see him in the everyday, simple events. Yet, I KNOW that God loves our everyday lives. Simple things, He gets joy out of.
Truth of the matter is: 'Ministry' or whatever the heck you want to call it does NOT look the same at home as it did while I was overseas. Maybe its because many of those people didn't know at all about Jesus. I would venture to say that most people in the States, DO know. So often to for me, here, witness happens through relationship, through reminding people that they are loved and praying for them and just being a good friend. But even though I know that is true, this little lie pops up and tells me that unless I am speaking to them about Jesus, it won't matter.
That is a LIE! It is a big freaking lie. And yet I'm so quick to believe it sometimes. Now, knowing that isn't an excuse NOT to talk to people. Words are necessary sometimes, but actions HAVE to show love as well. Its a fine line, I think. The thing that does, however, encourage me in all of this is that God continually reminds me that I am His and that focusing on Him alone is most important, and through that our 'ministry' can come, but its not about 'ministry' its about Him.
So, here I am, being honest. Its hard, because I like to feel like everything is peachy, because, somehow that must mean that my relationship with God is stronger, or something, right?? Ha ha, what a joke. I know I'm not alone in all of this, and that encourages me, as well.
1 comment:
GOD, LIKE ANY PARENT, DELIGHTS IN HIS CHILDREN-- NOT JUST WHEN THEY ARE WORKING FOR THEM BUT EVEN WHEN THEY ARE SETTING AT HIS FEET-- REMEMBER MARY AND MARTHA-- AND EVEN WHEN THEY HAVE WANDERED-- OR ARE FAR OFF COURSE--
I'M SURE HE DELIGHTS IN YOU-- YOUR MESSAGE WAS VERY ACCURATE!
THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS WITH THE WWW!
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