Boundaries.
Something our culture struggles with. Big time.
Something I have struggled with most of my life.
This is not a new concept for me. I've been mulling over it for quite some time. And as simple of a concept it is, actually living it out has been so hard but also transformative in my personal life.
I was walking with a friend a few weeks ago, around the baseball fields a mere two blocks from my home. We've walked it many times in our years of friendship. I was telling her that I am at a place in my life where I have to be alright with things not getting done. Our house is a mess 95% of the time. There is clutter and un-vacuumed floors. There is laundry and dishes piled high in the sink. We suck at grocery shopping (and despise it) and keeping the basic food continually stocked is a major chore. Its just the time in life that we find ourselves...
Dad is finishing building a home for our family. Its a full time job, and an exhausting one. I am working full time and have an active social life outside of that. I just switched jobs and now have an hour and a half commute round trip. My sister is home, but is prepping for Grad School in a few short weeks and catching up with friends before she goes.
Life doesn't slow down.
For someone who values tidiness, organization and order, this can be an issue. It used to bother me to no end when the house was a mess. I used to feel embarrassed, and unable to rest until it was orderly again. So I would spend my extra time cleaning and wear myself out when I should have been resting, being refreshed and doing things that filled my heart.
Now, I understand the insatiable need some of us have to clean. I have always felt like my ability to rest hinges on more than having a spot to lay my head... my surroundings also played into it to a large degree. If my surroundings felt orderly, my mind could rest easily. If my surroundings felt chaotic, so did my mind. Some will understand this plight. Others won't. That's alright.
Even so, I realized recently that all of my running around, trying to check off boxes of my imaginary 'to do' list was often more harmful than helpful. I found myself equally as drained at the end of a weekend as I was after a week of work... I was not being refreshed and constantly felt the need to 'fix' and 'change' my environment so I could 'rest', but I was never actually resting. The work is endless. There is always something more to be done. That is the nature of being an involved adult.
So, slowly, through conversations with the Lord, and through sheer need, I started to 'let go' of some of this incessant need to have things neat, tidy and orderly. I stopped running to the store four times a week because there was something else we forgot last time. I stopped letting it bother me so much when things didn't feel up to par with how I wanted them. I let them go. And I started valuing rest. And setting boundaries.
I truly believe that learning to rest, and setting boundaries go hand-in-hand. I don't believe one can be a good rester if they neglect setting boundaries.
You see, rest comes when we don't allow other supposed necessities steal our time or our joy, and we decide to care for ourselves, steward our bodies and our health well, and just take a break.
Sometimes that looks like physically resting. Taking a nap. Lounging on a Saturday morning.
Sometimes it looks like doing things we love. For me that is painting, hiking, crafting, gardening, and camping.
Sometimes it looks like time away from technology and the constant 'noise' that surrounds.
Sometimes it looks like coffee in one hand, journal in the other, writing about life and allowing other things to take a back seat for a while.
Its so hard. Excruciatingly hard sometimes.
I would argue that most of us weren't taught how to rest well and value our health or 'self care' very highly. Most of us were taught to keep up with the Joneses, to accomplish, to do, to keep going and to never stop. There is some merit to that, but it gets in and affects every fiber of our being and robs our ability to just stop and breathe and enjoy life.
Sabbath rest teaches us that the world keeps spinning without our help (Someone much smarter than me said that. I read it somewhere, and cannot remember where, but I give credit to the genius that said it long before me).
So lately I've been being challenged by myself, and I think by the Lord too, to let things not get done. Not the big things. Those always get done. We've got food to eat, a roof over our head and clothes to put on our backs. We've got friends and family. The important things are taken care of. But its the other things, the non-essentials that we turn into essentials sometimes. I'm letting them not get done.
And you know what?
Sometimes I have anxiety or even embarrassment about that still.
But most of the time its so nice to value my rest (which is a biblical mandate, I might add), and to spend time doing things that are good for my soul. I have much more time to do things with the people in my life that matter. I have more ability to enjoy and find beauty in the many treasures that surround me because I'm not constantly looking around, finding everything that is left 'undone', but instead, I am appreciating and reveling in the people, gifts and hobbies that God has given me.
And that is a better way to live.
I am thankful that He never leaves me the same way... and He cares about things like the way I approach rest and work.
I am better, healthier and more at peace because of it. And I wouldn't trade that for anything, even a spotless house.
