I know, dating is supposed to be fun. But honestly, in my experience it's been exhausting. Trying to interpret the 'signs' and putting myself out there enough, but not too much. And not being able to go out on a date without eyebrows raised, asking about when the wedding is.
Good lord.
No wonder there are so many hurting hearts and folks getting strung along for a year, two, three, because no one is rising up to communicate with honor and respect.
It feels like a maze. But with trap doors and pits and dead ends all over.
I'm kind of over it.
I've been told that I'm an old soul and that I'm old school. I'm alright with both of those labels-- because they're true. And because I think there is actually a lot of untapped goodness of being 'old school'.
I don't think that men have do to the asking out. But I sure hope they will.
I cannot explain the value, trust, honor, character and courage it communicates when the men do the asking.
Also, when you're straightforward about your intentions, you gain mad respect in my book. No one is proposing marriage on the first date, but you think I'm interesting? Tell me. Want to get to know me better. Communicate that.
Its hard. I get it. Being honest about our deep and inward thoughts and feelings always is. But its also the most worth it thing. Its also a really solid foundation to start building a relationship on. Communication is key to healthy relationships.
Dating is hard. I don't think it has to be, but I think because humans are complicated, and there are emotions and hormones and infatuation and over-analyzing involved, it gets messy pretty quickly.
But I believe we can date better. I believe we can honor and respect one another by being straightforward.
I believe we can show strength of character and godliness while dating by being willing to courageously communicate about things that matter, from the get go.
So, maybe its just me that isn't really that fond of modern cultural dating, but I have a feeling I'm not alone in this...
After all, good communication shows respect and love to others, and they will know we are Christians by our love, right?
We can do better.
*Matt Chandler, pastor of the Village Church has been an influence on my life-- he speaks about this phenomenon here. Also, our dating issues relate back to both men and women. We can all do better.
Blogger Krysti Wilkinson has been another influence on my thoughts regarding dating. Soak in the words below, as many of my thoughts were spurred by this, and other similar blog posts:
1 comment:
Hello Hannah. I am a Pastor from Mumbai, India. I am glad to stop by your profile on the blogger and the blog post. I am blessed and feel privileged and honored to get connected with you as well as know you and your interest in Godly things and choices. I am truly blessed to go through your post on "An Amateurs Thoughts on Modern Dating". I can understand your experience in dating. In the contest of Indian culture it would be more simpler and not exhausting process of dating where you do not relay on your own perceptions about the person but you have others to to help you to know the person of God's choice where God would honor you being old soul and of old school. Praying for you. If you think globally then God may have some one for you from a country where people would respect you being old soul and of old school. Well I love getting connected with the people of God around the globe to be encouraged, strengthened and praying for one another. I have been in the Pastoral ministry for last 38 yrs in this great city of Mumbai a city with a great contrast where the Lord has used me and has been using me in getting establish the new homes of young people. This city has a great contrast where richest of rich and the poorest of poor live. We reach out to the poorest of poor with the love of Christ to bring healing to the brokenhearted. We also encourage young and the adults from the west to come to Mumbai to work with us during their vacation time. We would love to have you come to Mumbai with your friends and work with us during your vacation time. During this time the Lord may bring a young person of His choice in to your life as well as He can make use of you in touching the lives of many poorest of poor with the love of Christ. My email id is: dhwankhede(at)gmail(dot)com and my name is Diwakar Wankhede. looking forward to hear from you very soon. God's richest blessings on you, your family and friends.
Post a Comment