On the New Year

As I reflect on a new year, looking back to the one just complete and forward to the brand new ahead, I am grateful and my heart is filled with peace. I have no huge, lofty resolutions or aspirations for 2019 - I do have things I'd like to do and accomplish, but they're more of general lifestyle shifts and adjustments. They're not so easily measured - they're mental shifts I guess you could say. I find that for me, adjustments and focus on new things are more attainable than a specific, lofty goal for the year (like going to the gym 5x a week or traveling to 3 new states).

Last year in March, as I was about to enter my 27th year, I felt specifically like the Lord said my 27th year would be one of peace, intimacy and joy. I'll spare you all the details, but let's just say six months in I looked back with confusion, defeat and doubt, questioning how the words the Lord had spoken could be true. It certainly didn't feel peaceful or joyful. I had/have plenty of wonderful things that I am grateful for - a job I love, friends and family that are supportive, a great church and a boyfriend that is steadfast and loving. It just seemed I was having a hard time experiencing the joy that I expected from all of this. I think I fell into a sort of depression for a while and I was tired. 

Now, 3/4 of my way through my 27th year I am beginning to see glimmers and sparks of that wonderful peace and joy that was promised back in March. 2018 and my 27th year did not look as I anticipated (does it ever?!) and yet I learned the value of waiting patiently, believing that the Lord speaks truth and pressing in to him when everything seems confusing. I've also learned to let go of a lot of expectations that do not serve me or those around me.

I guess going into 2019 I hope to love the Lord a little more fully, serve others a little more faithfully, take care of myself more regularly and simply learn to enjoy the present. The sticklers out there would say these are not 'good' goals because good goals must be attainable and measurable. These are more general principles or ideas. But honestly, I don't care, because for me, while the new year does bring new opportunities, so does each new day.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end

they are new every morning

great is thy faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

An interesting note on the book of Lamentations - it is named that because it is just that, a book of lament. After a difficult and challenging season and much destruction and desolation (of the city and temple) Jeremiah pens this book. It is essentially a book of grieving, and yet, he stops long enough to remember God's faithfulness and praise him in the midst of the grief and sorrow of his people. 

I am learning that there is always reason to praise. 

I am also learning that I don't need to wait until the 'new year' to make important changes. His mercies are new every morning. 

I am thankful that each day is a new chance to grow and praise and serve the Lord and others more fervently. 

2019, I'm ready for you and look forward to you with grateful anticipation.