Montana Life

I am halfway done with Bible school. Its an interesting feeling. I feel in many ways like I just got here yesterday, and in many other ways, I feel like I've been here for an eternity. But in all ways I know that I am blessed to be here.

Its a funny place in a way. We are studying so much, so constantly, and sometimes its just a whirlwind, from one book to the next. I often feel like I'm on a roller coaster and its a little crazy sometimes, and yet its the best kind of roller coaster to be on. I've found myself changing so much as I've been here. I guess studying the word of God will do that to ya ;).

God has been stripping away things that cause me to not trust in Him. Things that I sometimes hold onto too tightly. Its never an easy process, but it is necessary. Over the last year or so God has really been speaking identity into me, and reminding me that my identity comes from Him alone. That has always been a tough concept for me to grasp, as I would hold so tightly to people to fill me. God has even been stripping some people away in order to show me that I need to hold onto Him tightly, and in that, I will have what I need. I am filled in Him alone. As I go through this journey I'm finding that I really am filled in Him and satisfied in His presence. This is not something that I have always been able to say.

Its hard to describe all that He's been doing-- I've had some new experiences and I've had to ask some tough questions along the way, and yet there is this peace that is undeniable-- a knowing that He is so present with me and He is guiding me through all the ups and downs of this crazy, awesome, challenging journey. I couldn't be more grateful that He is so faithful to remind me that He goes before me and walks with me as I discover more of who He is.

One of the most beautiful things that He has been doing has been occurring just within the last week or so. There have been some uncertainties about the future and some different questions that I've had, and I am just experiencing such a peace as I seek God out on these things. Its an uncanny peace and its one that doesn't make sense. I mean, these aren't cake walk things-they're weighty, and yet there is a peace that is a foundation for everything that I am processing through.

I love how He works. We just got done studying Deuteronomy, which is all about God's faithfulness to His people as they wandered for forty years in the wilderness. They never went without-- they had food and water in the desert. Their clothes and sandals didn't wear out. And throughout the whole thing God was just continually reminding me that He is the same God today-- the God that cares for His children and that knows our needs. Even the smallest details and the whispered prayers. He provides. I love that about Him.

I guess this last five months hasn't been what I expected, but its been so much better. It always blows my mind how much greater His plans are than my own. I also didn't expect to be here, doing this school, ever. But that is another story. He works in mighty ways and His hand is guiding me. Grateful for His constant presence and His faithfulness. I am incredibly blessed.