Not Afraid of Messy

Today that comparison monster came back and he was kicking.

Today that comparison monster told me that I wasn't as hip or as funny or as clever or cool as they were.

And when I came back to my room I sat, with my bowl of chocolate frosted mini wheats, and I put my feet up on the chair and I asked God what this was all about. And in a moment He crushed that comparison monster. In a moment He told me that the reason that I thought that I wasn't as 'cool' or as 'clever' as someone else was because I was afraid of being messy. In my head, they were never 'messy.'

They never had days that they were insecure.
They never had moments of panic.
They never had moments where they snapped at others.
In my head, they were, essentially perfect.

And God reminded me that that isn't true. We are in the same boat.
We are on this journey of Sanctification together. And it is a beautiful journey, but its often messy.
And messy is okay. Messy doesn't have to be scary. Sometimes messy is indicator that God is doing some of His greatest work.

But I was afraid of messy.

I was afraid of not having all my 'ducks in a row.'
I was afraid of showing that sometimes I just don't have it together. Often times.

And He reminded me that that is okay. Because He does have it together. And that is what matters.

So today I learned that its okay to be messy. God isn't afraid of messy. And in fact, I am convinced that He loves messy, because through that His power is shown and His strength is given.

Today I was reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:10. When I am weak, I am strong. Because He is strong. And that is enough.

I am not afraid of messy.