Expectations Ruin Relationships

So I have been on a '19 Kids and Counting' kick lately. I have only watched the show periodically through the years, but the last few days, I have been obsessive. I think I am fascinated by their family. And something that mom Michelle said in one of the interviews struck me, and hasn't left my mind since.

One of the producers was interviewing her about her daughter Jessa's courtship, and he asked "Should Ben (her boyfriend) expect a home cooked meal every night?" And Michelle laughed and said, "Well, you can expect, but expectations ruin relationship." Bam. That line has been running through my head constantly the last few days.

And I think its true. Granted, I'm sure Michelle and the world at large realize that there must be some 'ground rules' or expectations that make a relationship work (i.e. fidelity, respect, honesty etc.) but I think Michelle hit the nail on the head. Expectations ruin relationships.

I think it hit me because that is what the Lord has been showing me over the past several months. I went into University with a set of expectations, and a few month later, most of those expectations were unmet. In some cases, that was a good thing. In some cases, it left me terribly disappointed. And it was then that He showed me that I needed to learn to lay down my expectations and embrace His plan. Because my expectations often come from a picture conjured up in my head, and not necessarily from reality.

I must tell you, it has been trans-formative and challenging. I am someone that thinks ahead. I plan. Organize. Make lists. I have scenarios mapped out in my head long before they take place. And as I look back on my life, I realize that often times, mapping out a situation, and every word of a supposed conversation has brought more hurt than help. Because it doesn't turn out the way I expect, anyway. I don't say that to rain on anyone's parade, but I say it from experience, realizing that perhaps we were never meant to have control of every situation, but rather, to 'roll with the punches' and trust God along the way.

Its a hard process isn't it? I think control has a lot to do with it. Because if we can just analyze a situation enough, to where we *know* how its going to turn out, then we supposedly have control. That is a false notion, but its so relevant in our culture today.

So I guess I am learning to let go of expectations, and tucked in there, to let go of my need for perceived control, and simply live with arms wide open, ready for what God may place in my path. That is not to say that I am not pro-active, but rather, its a beautiful journey of simply learning to let go, and let God handle the unknown. Because its not unknown to Him, and He's pretty good at His job.

Here is the video-- Expectations Ruin Relationships: